The Wayward Trio
by hilarity
Summary: Peter decides to think, Sirius decides to think as well, Remus decides to disown them both, and James decides to keep away from that green-eyed kid with glasses. In other words, the Marauders and a guest (or two) meet post-O.W.L 1996.
1. Being the Beginning

**Summary**: Peter isn't thinking, Sirius thinks that Peter's thinking, Remus thinks he ought to slap himself, and James thinks that Pronglet is far, far too testy for his own good. Honestly! Even the Yanks can hear him yell! Snape, rather reluctantly, agrees with Potter, and Evans Can. Not. Believe. She. Decided. To. Converse. With. James. This. Morning. All fingers point at Sirius because, in other, more sensible, words: The Marauders & Co. meet a post-O.W.L 1996, and it ain't pretty.

**The Wayward Trio**

By Hilarity

**_Being the Beginning_**

****

_"Ouch. That hurt me, Jim."_

_"Don't call me Jim."_

_"Alright Jimmy Jim Jim Jim Jim."___

****

_1st September 1967___

Platform 9¾ was busy. Very busy, actually. Black robes were flailing through the air as the students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry darted about, waving to parents, hugging friends from the previous year, and running onto the scarlet train, trunks dragging heavily behind.

In the maddening pack of children, there was a small boy standing next to his mother and father. His hair was windswept, as if he'd only just awoken, and his dark brown eyes were framed in rectangular titanium. The boy had an occupied brass owl cage clenched tightly in one slight hand, and a black trunk with the initials J.P. scrawled across it in newly applied gold letters rested at his feet. His face was pale, and he chewed his lip nervously.

"You'll be fine, James," the boy's, James, mother said with a rather forced-looking smile.

"You've no reason to be fretting, my boy!" said James' father, and he grabbed the young boy's shoulders in a lovingly paternal gesture.

"But…but what if I," James lowered his voice into a barely audible whisper, and his brown eyes darted across the platform, as if looking for eavesdroppers. "What if I'm put in Slytherin?" His voice lowered still at the mention of that Hogwarts House name.

The boy's father chortled genially, pulling his son into a lose embrace.

"No Potter has ever been, or ever will be, in Slytherin, I can assure you that!" James looked doubtful, so his father carried on. "Ravenclaw, maybe. Your mother has at least one Ravenclaw in her. But not Hufflepuff (too mental to be in that House!) and definitely not Slytherin!" The man visibly shuddered, but didn't stop smiling.

"Now listen, dear," the mother said again, prying her son from the clutches of his father. "You're to send us an owl the minute you get situated into school, un-understand?" Her voice broke, and she had to take out a handkerchief.

James gulped, and soon his mother had him in a deathly tight hug, and was smoothing the boy's unmanageable head of hair, while sobbing. Loudly.

The boy threw an urgent, panicked look at his father, who immediately grabbed his wife, and held her shaking shoulders.

"We're going to miss you, m'boy! Remember to write, or your mother'll go mad. Good luck," He added, speaking loudly enough to cover the increasing decibel and tenacity of the mother's sobs.

"Your mother and I love you." Louder wails.

"Now get a move on before the train leaves without you." The wails increased, if it were possible.

"Oh, by Merlin! We'll see him over Christmas holiday, dear!" The father shouted above the howling cries that were growing ever more noticeable. A few families turned their heads and cocked an eyebrow or two, watching the woman succumb to hysterics.

James smiled feebly before hugging his mum (who made a move to hold him back, but was pried loose by his father), hugging his dad, and proceeding onto the train.

All the previous nervousness had suddenly left him, as he heaved the stubborn trunk into a compartment, one of the only few still vacant. His owl screeched in indignation as James accidentally knocked her cage as he rammed the trunk into an overhead rack.

Once that daunting first task had been completed (and none-too-successfully, as the trunk nearly fell on James' head a few seconds later), he opened the window of his compartment, and waved amiably to his father, who was supporting James' poor mother (who had now gone into full hysterics, and was creating quite a scene). James grinned, waved again, but his mother saw the gesture, and wrenched herself from her husband's grasp. James' father shook his head at him, lunged for his wife, and mouthed 'Shut the window!' There was another loud wail as James shut the window, and sat down in one of the red seats nearest the window. Perhaps he should wait until the train starts moving before attempting anything like that again.

According to James' new watch (a present from his grandfather for this very occasion), he had a good five minutes until eleven o'clock, when the train was scheduled to leave for Hogwarts. To James, the future looked daunting. He knew he couldn't wait until he arrived; couldn't wait to start his classes; couldn't wait to make new friends. Friends. Speaking of friends…James shook his head and smiled at the thought of his best friend. Where was he, anyway?

James sighed, stretched, and glanced at his watch again. Only a minute had gone by. He stared at his owl, which was sitting in the seat directly opposite his own. She was sleeping; her head tucked gently under a wing, eyes closed. James sighed again, and started as the door to his compartment was slid open, scraping the wooden frame. Whoever was opening it looked as though he or she was nervous about doing so. The movement was slow, and after the door was opened a foot or so, a young boy with short, smooth, black hair poked his head into the compartment, smiling like an idiot.

"James," he said simply.

"'Lo. Where's your trunk?" asked James, shifting in his seat to peer out behind the boy.

The boy ducked momentarily out of the doorframe before the door was slid back completely.

"Want some help with that, Sirius?"

Sirius was just a little taller than James, but still rather scrawny. And though he had his back turned to James, the movement of his head told him that the answer was evidently a 'no'.

The compartment door slid closed again, and Sirius groaned as he hoisted his equally stubborn trunk into the storage slot next to the one James used.

James jumped up, taking his owl off of the seat, and offering the seat to Sirius. James' owl hooted crossly, and ruffled her feathers to display her disgust, but Sirius smiled mischievously again and sat down, a little out of breath from the endeavour with the trunk.

"So, Jamesy!" he blurted out. "Excited? It's just too bad that first years can't go to Hogsmeade. Zonkos is excellent, I hear!"

The whistle sounded, and the train lurched forward.

"Yeah. But…" James stood up against the movement of the train and climbed on top of the seats. He began to rifle through his trunk, occasionally forcing small objects and articles of clothing out of it. Then, after a great deal of time, he found what he was looking for, grinned back at Sirius, and flopped into his seat.

"Mum'll go berserk if she finds out that Dad lent me this," James grinned.

"Is that?" Sirius sat up, his eyes wide with intrigue. "You mean your dad gave this to you?"

James nodded eagerly. "For my eleventh birthday!"

"Brilliant!" Sirius almost shouted, clapping his hands together. "My dad was hoping that we wouldn't wreak too much mayhem, but with this thing, no one'll ever know!"

James nodded again. "Like I said, my mum'll go gaga if she ever finds out. Dad hid it from her, so she can't go snooping. If I get a howler because of this, I'll just kindly remind her that it was Dad's fault."

"The castle will be ours!" Sirius concluded happily, and leaned back in his seat, resting his arms behind his head.

"Oh! And there's more!" James whispered loudly as some students walked past the compartment.

Sirius sat bolt upright again. "What?!"

"Dad gave me a bag of Dungbombs!" James blurted out, his face split in a wicked grin.

"Ooh! We'll have ourselves an endless supply, once we can figure out a way to sneak into Hogsmeade. Imagine the roam of Zonkos…all ours!" Sirius said with a sigh that sounded oddly dreamy. "I've got a bag… or two….or three…in my trunk," he added.

"Really? Mum went through some of my stuff, so I had to stuff mine in my robe pockets. Since I wasn't wearing that at the platform, she couldn't go looking through the pockets!" He pointed to the black bundle lying next to his owl's cage.

Sirius sighed again, leaning back in the chair, and gazed out of the window as the city slowly melted away into rural countryside.

"I've been waiting for this day to come for a long, long time," Sirius sighed contentedly.

"Eleven years, Sirius," James amended.

"Eleven years and nine months!" Sirius amended James' amendment.

"Eleven years, nine months, something odd hours, minutes and seconds. Not sure exactly. May not even been nine months, really. Maybe eight," Sirius shrugged.

"Knowing you, it was probably more like eleven."

Sirius shot James withering glare, which faded into another idiotic grin. He certainly did grin like that a lot. Suited him, really.

James watched as the city melted into the countryside, and he let his thoughts drift. He'd been best mates with Sirius since meeting him at Tutshill Tornadoes Quidditch match when they were both seven. The Tornadoes lost the match, but Sirius and James had spent a majority of the time discussing prude jokes and broom styles, much to the delight of both fathers.

By the time the scarlet Hogwarts Express had arrived in Hogsmeade Station, Sirius and James had talked non-stop about various prank ideas, occasionally interjecting those thoughts with other topics. They had talked of everything from what they wanted to learn most (DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS!), to what Bertie Bott's flavour should be invented next (Sirius, wet dog; James, petrol).

Patches of grey-splotched clouds were slowly covering the sun, which had been shining around Kings Cross. Rain had been threatening for the last half hour, and as each black-robed student stepped from the train, heavily droplets of icy water began to pelt mercilessly from the clouds above.

Sirius and James threw on their cloaks and darted into the downpour, but even the wool cloaks were of no use.

"What luck we've got, eh?" Sirius shouted to James above the roar of the rain.

James only nodded, his teeth were chattering in the bitter cold the weather had brought. He shifted his weight from foot to foot, waiting for the gamekeeper, a very, very large man named Hagrid, to take them across the lake.

They were pushed into the waiting boats in groups of four to five. Sirius and James went into a boat towards the back of the fleet. Accompanying them was a petite redheaded girl and a very sickly looking boy with light brown hair and amber eyes.

Sirius and James smiled at both of these new people, but it was apparent that the third boy was just as sick as he looked. The colour was slowly draining from his already glowing pale skin, and he stared nervously at the clouds above. The girl, on the other hand, waved warmly at both James and Sirius, and introduced herself above the dull roar of the falling water.

"Lily. Lily Evans!" she said, sticking out one icy reddened hand to Sirius, and then to James.

"I'm Sirius Black, and this is James Potter!" Sirius replied, also straining his voice to be heard.

The boat rocked dangerously as it pressed onward across the lake, which looked almost alive in the storm. Between the newly howling wind and the downpour, the water was white-capped and dancing furiously, lapping at the tiny wooden vessels with enough force to knock them off course.

There wasn't much any of the four in the boat could say. Noise prevented anyone from being heard properly, and James, Sirius and Lily were too preoccupied with making sure that the fourth member of their boat didn't die on the ride over. He had started to turn a nasty shade of purple around his ears and around his jaw line, and the dark circles around his eyes were becoming more intense.

"Are you alright?" Sirius said, and when he received no response, he poked the boy on the shoulder, making him start so badly that Lily almost fell out.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to startle you! Are you alright?"

The boy looked as though he attempted a smile, then he nodded quickly, and gazed at the sky again. There was such a high amount of agitation as he did so, that James wondered (as he steadied himself when the boat rocked ominously) if he didn't hold a grudge with the weather, but he shrugged it off. Probably just nerves, he told himself. James decided that if he didn't already know about the Sorting Ceremony and other Hogwarts basics, he'd be nervous, too.

When the ride to the castle came to an end, James and Sirius darted into the pack of students, waving goodbye to Lily, and smiling warmly at the small boy (who, though he looked as though he could barely walk, needed no support to do so), ran up the marble steps, ahead of everyone else.

Deciding that they'd get to the Great Hall faster if they skipped a couple steps at a time, James and Sirius tore past the greater first year population with ease, and had to skid to a halt when they nearly ran into….

"McGonagall!" Sirius shrieked, stepping back. James elbowed him violently in the ribs.

Professor McGonagall raised an amused eyebrow, but her lips held their thin line.

"_Professor_ McGonagall," she said simply. There was a rolled up piece of parchment in her left hand, and with her right hand, she adjusted the rectangular glasses resting on her nose.

Once all of the children had caught up with Sirius and James (most took each step one-at-a-time), McGonagall cleared her throat, and began her formal introduction to Hogwarts.

"Now, if you'll excuse me," she said as he speech ended. "I have to tend to some matters before I admit you into the Great Hall. Please wait here and remain quiet until I return," she glanced warily at Sirius, then turned sharply on her heel, and marched down the corridor and into the wooden doors to the Great Hall.

The absence of such a strict-looking professor allowed the population of first years the ability to relax and collect their muddled thoughts. Talk rang out about which house so in so would be in, and which subject would be best.

James, however, turned to Sirius and engaged in a conversation about the sickly boy in their boat.

"What do you reckon was wrong with him?" he whispered.

Sirius shrugged, looking over his shoulder in an attempt to spot that particular student. When this attempt failed, he turned back to James.

"He seemed nervous."

"Extremely nervous. You'd think he was afraid of everything around him!" Sirius added, glancing around him again in a second attempt to spot the boy.

"I don't know if he seemed afraid or…or something else," said James. He moved his eyes down the corridor to the doors that McGonagall had entered through, furrowing his brow as he tried to think.

"He looked like he was about to die."

"Maybe he is!"

"That could prove to be interesting."

"We'll learn his name at the Sorting Ceremony. Maybe he'll be in our house," James said suddenly. "Or at least, one of our houses," he amended.

"What do you mean 'one of our houses'? We'll be in the same one. Gryffindor for us, of course!" Sirius said, play elbowing James, an action reminiscent of what James had done earlier.

"What, not Slytherin like your dear old mum and dad?" asked James in mock surprise.

Sirius looked revolted.

James let out a huffed laugh, and pointed as he saw the doors open again.

"This way, please! We're ready for you." McGonagall stepped from the doors, smiling warmly to the nervous students who began to walk in her direction.

"Now," she began peering down her rectangular spectacles at the students standing before her, covering the entrance to the Great Hall. "I'd like you to form a single file line, please," she raised a hand suddenly. "There is no need to alphabetize. Just line up, and follow me. When you get to the top of the Hall, please spread out along the Staff table." And with that, she turned and led the way into the bewitched dining hall.

James stood behind Sirius, who shot him a nervous smile before proceeding between two long house tables. James vainly attempted to calm his hair before standing in front of the entire Hogwarts School population.

The head table was lined with a curious array of teachers, and in the centre was the headmaster Dumbledore, who was beaming at each and every student, though his smile went unreturned for the most part.

"Now," McGonagall said huffily, "when I call your name, you are to come over and sit down on this stool, place the Sorting Hat on your head. When it calls out your house name, proceed to the corresponding table, and wait for every student to be sorted." She cleared her throat, unrolled the parchment, and held it at arms length from her bespectacled face.

"Abbott, Scott!" A blonde-haired boy stumbled forward, visibly shaken. He took a seat on the stool, clutching the sides of the seat with trembling hands. James figured that if he could see the boys face, it would probably be a nice shade of green, such as his own was getting to. The nervousness had returned.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" came the answer. The boy jumped up, almost forgetting to remove the aged hat, and darted over to a table on the right, where cheers resounded merrily.

"Alexander, Madeline!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

There were a few more A's, and then the B's began. Sirius glanced nervously over at the Gryffindor table, which had received two new students.

"Black, Sirius!" Sirius stepped backward as if hit in the stomach, then, collecting himself, he proceeded cheerfully over to the stool, taking the hat and placing it at a jaunty angle over his black hair. There were murmurs of laughter at this, and James shook his head.

The hat thought for a moment, but it wasn't very long.

"GRYFFINDOR!" James could see Sirius visibly relax, remove the hat, and dart over to the table on the far left.

James had quite a while to go until the P's. More B's were announced, a select few C's, three D's, and then the E's began.

"Evans, Lily! "

James watched, out of pure curiosity, as the small redhead walked, seemingly unflustered, to the stool, and set the hat upon her head.

"GRYFFINDOR! " James smiled again. The more friendly Gryffindors, the better.

The letters seemed to go by forever, now. His mind had been determined on learning the sick boys name until the letter H, when there were a slew of students, and his boredom overcame both his curiosity and his nervousness.

"Hair, Nathan!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Hopkins, Alice!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

James stood, feeling rather numb and uninterested, and let his mind wander freely. Though every so often, he'd check what letter was being called. On one out-of-mind wandering, James suddenly noticed that the sickly boy was sitting under the hat now. He jolted out of his daydream, feeling stupid that'd he hadn't caught his name, but the hoping that Sirius had.

The hat didn't take long at all to decide where to put this boy.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

James smiled. Maybe, just maybe, he could be a friend with this boy, too? He let himself slip back into daydreams as the ceremony proceeded.

"Patil, Mahatma!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

James snapped back into reality upon realizing that his letter was being called. There were two more people and then…

"Potter, James!"

James gulped, adjusting his glasses, and brushing at his flyaway hair in one last attempt to tame it. He walked with unsteady steps toward the stool. There was a dull buzzing in his ears as he felt hundreds of stares directed upon him. He sat on the hard seat, feeling the world swim before his eyes, and then the hat was lowered, so that all he saw was the dark fabric of the brim.

"Ahhh yes," the hat began. "Another Potter. You're father was quite troublesome when he was under my care. You're likenesses are quite astounding. Courage. No doubt about that. You've got plenty of courage. And knowledge. Knowledge, but not one for being studious,"

_Hey!_ James thought to himself.

The hat ignored the outcry and continued. "You've got a gift and the ability to do great things, you know.

_That's right. The next Merlin! _James continued to himself.

"Hardly."

.....

"I see much loyalty here, which stands you apart from so many others. Now, where shall I put you?" The hat didn't even pause.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

It wasn't until the hat had said it, that James actually realised how much he'd expect this answer, and to not receive it would be an unpleasant blow. Even Ravenclaw sounded less-than-satisfactory now that he was a Gryffindor.

James proceeded to the vacant spot next to Sirius.

"Well done!" Sirius said, clapping James on the back. "So, what'd the hat say about you?" He whispered leaning closer to James as the next name was called.

James thought for a moment, "It said I am gifted, handsome, wise beyond my years, and the next Merlin." Sirius snorted at this, but let James continue. "It also said that I am loyal, that I have courage, and that I am just like my father." James added, a bit more truthfully. "What'd it say about you?"

"Same stuff, mostly. But it also commented that I have a nasty thirst for revenge. Whatever that was supposed to mean. Of course, it actually said that I am the next Merlin. You are a horrible liar, James." Sirius grinned one of his idiotic grins.

"Hmph. Nice try. There can't be two future Merlins, Sirius."

"Exactly. Stop lying!"

James didn't feel like retorting, because he remembered something rather urgent. "Oh yeah! You didn't happen to catch that boy's name, did you?" James said, a little more loudly than he meant to.

"Ah bloody hell. I thought you had. I wasn't paying attention." Sirius said, staring at the golden plate in front of him. "I'm starving. I could probably eat this plate if I tried. Reckon I could transfigure it into a chocolate frog and eat it?"

"You don't know how to transfigure anything but truth into lies."

"Ouch. That hurt me, Jim."

"Don't call me Jim."

"Alright Jimmy Jim Jim Jim Jim."

James stared at his own shimmering plate and matching goblet. He was feeling rather hungry himself, now that Sirius mentioned it. In fact, he'd never felt so hungry in his life, and he watched his hands shake with hunger spurred weakness.

"Merlin, they're slow! What are they on now?"

Sirius shrugged and waited for another name to be called. " They're on R."

"I haven't eaten since this morning. I wish they'd buck up!"

"What about the Chocolate Frogs and Cauldron Cakes that we had on the train?" Sirius whispered.

"Okay, but…I'm still starving," said James, massaging his stomach with a look of pain displayed on his face.

"I didn't say that you weren't," Sirius smiled.

James made a huffing noise that sounded like laughter, and watched as another boy was called (Snape, Severus). His hair was a dark black (much like James and Sirius's), but it reached his chin, and could have done with a washing…or two.

"SLYTHERIN!"

"You know," said Sirius, resting his head thoughtfully on his hand. "I've always wanted to grow my hair out."

James looked wide-eyed at his friend. "Really? Ugh Sirius, no!"

Sirius looked mildly hurt. "Hey! I'd look dashing no matter what I did with my hair."

"What about if I were to turn it pink?"

"That's hardly the same as growing it out," Sirius pointed out.

"Yeah, but you'll wash it, won't you?" James said with mock indignation towards the boy who had just sat down at the Slytherin table.

Sirius snorted, receiving an angry look from a prefect sitting near by. "What? You don't like grease?" he said, seemingly stunned at James' comment. "Well, it really doesn't matter whether I wash it or not. My mum wouldn't let me grow my hair out. 'Sirius Black! You look like a hoodlum!' Leave it to Mum to dash my remaining hopes and dreams into tiny pieces," he sniffed, wiping imaginary tears from his eyes.

James rolled his eyes, then moved them to the last few sick-looking students, nervously shifting in the single file row lining the staff table.

Finally, the last name was called, the house was announced ("Slytherin"), and Dumbledore rose up to speak.

"I have a few announcements to make before we enjoy the fine cuisine to be provided by our wonderful kitchens. First of all, all first years need note that the Forbidden Forest is, just as the name states, forbidden. Second, our caretaker wishes to announce that Dungbombs are now completely restricted from the interior of the castle. And last, but most important, for this is new to everyone this year; the newly planted willow tree on the grounds, which Professor Sprout has labelled a Whomping Willow, is to be noted as extremely dangerous, and is restricted to all those who wish to keep their limbs and lives," Sirius and James gulped. "For the remainder of the year. Now, tuck in."

When the food finally did appear, and everyone had had more helpings than was previously thought humanly possible, James finally felt the heaviness of sleep tugging at his eyelids. It felt good to be here, in Hogwarts, with his best mate.

Sirius yawned, stretched, and stood to leave the hall with the rest of the students, each house led by their respective prefects. James followed suit, but tripped on the hem of his robes and crashed into a short, blonde-haired boy.

"Er! Sorry!" the boy said, looking anxious. But when he saw that it was just another first year, his face relaxed a bit.

James nodded, and the boy vanished into the pack of black robes filing from the hall.

The walk to Gryffindor Tower was long and rather uneventful. The pictures waved energetically at the passing students, Nearly-Headless Nick beamed at everyone as they neared the portrait ("Welcome to Gryffindor!"), and it was discovered that the Gryffindor prefect had forgotten the password.

Sirius snorted as the young boy ran through the students milling about the corridor, heading for the Head Boy (also a Gryffindor).

"Some prefect that prat is, eh?" James said under his breath. "Hey Sirius! Reckon we could be prefects?"

"Maybe," said Sirius austerely. "We'd remember the password, anyway."

When the Head Boy finally showed up, most of the students were sitting on the marble floor. Some had packs of Exploding Snap, and were building houses of cards. From somewhere in the crowd there was a small explosion, some obscene language, and flourish of laughter.

"The password," the Head Boy cleared his throat distractedly, and glanced at the first years with something nearing disgust. "Is 'cleansweep'. Now chivvy along into the common room." He sighed and left, shaking his head.

"Hey!" James shouted, making Sirius flinch in surprise. "That reminds me. Quidditch tryouts!"

Sirius smiled. "Like they'd let us onto the team. We're first years, James."

"I know, but I still want to be a chaser!" James grinned, tripping on the hole and stumbling forward.

"Watch it, you clumsy git!" Sirius said, grabbing James' robes before he fell into a dark-haired girl who was walking in front of him.

"Oops. Guess I'm just distracted. The House Teams hadn't even crossed my mind! I feel like such an idiot."

"And you are," Sirius smirked.

"Funny."

"I'm particularly proud of that one, thanks," Sirius said, stumbling up yet another staircase to the boys' dormitories.

They came to a halt in front of an elaborate wooden door with the words "First Years" hanging on it in golden letters. Feeling tendrils of excitement rising in their stomachs, they stepped inside the room. Five four posters stood along the walls, rich scarlet curtains hung from each one, and at the foot of each bed were the trunks of the future inhabitants.

James stopped at a bed that was sitting near a narrow window. Outside, thunder rumbled distantly, and rain pelted at the bevelled glass. He opened the curtains to the bed and his eyes widened as he saw the luxurious bedding, all in shades of scarlet and gold.

"Mum and Dad always said that they went all out, but…" Sirius said from the bed kitty-corner to James'.

"I know. Its brill," replied James as he unlatched his trunk, and set his owl cage near the window. It was empty.

There was a long silence as the door opened again, and two more boys entered. One was a tall, slim black boy ("Abram Jordan"), and the other…

"Cor, James!" Sirius said, dashing across the room and slamming full force into James' bed.

"What's the matter with you?" James asked, startled at the look of alarm on Sirius' face.

"It's him!" Sirius whispered.

"Him…?" It took James a moment to register, but when the realisation hit, he jumped up, slamming his head on one of the posts in an effort to stand on the carpeted floor.

"You okay?" Sirius said, holding James' elbow as the boy clutched his head, rubbing his forehead furiously.

"Yeah. Grand. Just grand." James finished rubbing his throbbing head, and stepped gingerly onto the floor. Joe was reading some sort of book by wand light, and that sickly boy was gingerly fingering his wand, as if it was something out of a dream.

"All right?" Sirius said, strolling genially over to the boy and sitting down next to him. The boy didn't start this time. Instead, he looked up and smiled. James was taken aback, and he strolled over as well.

"I'm --"

"James Potter," said the boy. "And you're Sirius Black." He filed the wand away into his ornate trunk, and smiled again.

"I'm Remus Lupin." He stood, and ended up being a bit taller than he first appeared. He was an inch taller than James, but still shorter than Sirius.

"It's simply corking to see that you survived the trip, old chap," Sirius said, clapping Remus on the back as if he were an old acquaintance. James stifled a snigger.

Remus smiled weakly and yawned.

The door opened again, and the blond boy entered. He was soaked through his robes and cloak, and his hair was plastered down, water dripping down his face. He lifted a red hand and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his robe. It didn't do any good, as the sleeve was just as wet.

"Peeves," he said simply, smiling a weak smile.

"I'm, er...I'm Peter Pettigrew," he said cautiously, as if expecting someone to jump him at any moment.

Sirius stepped forward to speak. "I'm Sirius Black. This here is Jimmykins Potter," James glared at Sirius fiercely behind his back, and Peter sniggered a bit.

"That there is Abram Jordan," Abram nodded at Peter, not even lifting his eyes from the book. "And that is Remus Lupin. Pleasure to meet our fifth dorm mate."

Peter smiled a nervous kind of smile, and when it seemed everyone's attention had been moved from his arrival to other things, he shuddered a couple of times before taking off his cloak, clambering onto the farthest four-poster, and drawing the curtains tightly around the bed.

James let go of a jaw-popping yawn, nodded to Sirius, Remus and Abram, and climbed into his bed, where his red pinstriped pyjamas were folded neatly, and resting on the end.


	2. Being the part when Peter gets ideas, ni...

**The Wayward Trio**

By Hilarity

**_Being the part when Peter gets ideas, nicknames, and a very large burden_**

****

_ "That's our Wormtail!"_

Five years, three hundred-fifty nine (and a half) detentions, and an uncountable number of howlers later, Sirius Black and James Potter sat side-by-side on the floor in the Gryffindor Common Room playing Wizards Chess. Or at least, pretending to. What they were really doing was plotting out new locations on their newest creation (with, as always, immense help from their favourite werewolf, Remus) affectionately dubbed The Marauders Map by pretty much everyone. After all, the four were the most marauding bunch of students in Hogwarts history. Setting records in detentions and howlers like no other. Not only that, but Sirius could now clean the trophy room in under ten minutes flat. Without magic. A feat unprecedented, much like everything else any of them did.

"No, James!" Sirius shouted, shattering the silence of the Gryffindor common room into thousands of tiny palpable pieces. A few of the students looked over at the pair, but no one said anything. They didn't want to risk it.

"Stuff it, Sirius! And keep your voice down!" chided James, hitting Sirius on the head with his wand. "We shouldn't even be doing this down here." He looked about and dropped his voice to a hoarse whisper. "Too many people!"

Sirius, who was rubbing the non-existent sore spot on his head, frowned. "When has that stopped us before? And besides," he added pointedly, waving his wand at James absently. "That's not where that room goes." He pointed to the map with his wand, muttered something, and the layout of the room flew to an entirely different corner of he castle.

"Oops," James breathed. "I thought we had it turned round. Needs a title! I'm getting confused as to which way is north."

"No," Sirius said, a lopsided grin on his face. "You're just infinitely stupider than I am."

"Stupider, Sirius?"

Sirius shrugged and pointed his wand tip at the seemingly innocent piece of parchment. "Mischief managed," he said, and the map vanished. He looked up and opened his mouth to speak, but instead, it cracked into a wicked grin. He rolled up the parchment and nodded his head, but it wasn't at James.

A swift kick to the ribs knocked James completely onto the floor.

"'Lo, dear sweet Lily my love!" said James, his mouth muffled in the carpeting.

"Why good evening Potter," Lily Evans said back. "You wouldn't happen to have a book of mine, would you?" she continued in a sweet, yet dangerous, tone.

James, finally able to sit up and breathe properly, made a face of mock indignation. "Why Lily my love! How could you accuse me of stealing your book? Me, your wonderful Jamsiekins!"

Lily laughed, but stopped immediately; her face turned serious. "No, really James. Where is it? I need it for homework."

"No, really Lily," he stopped and smirked. "That rhymed!" Lily glared at him impatiently. "Yeah, I don't know where it is." Then, after some thought and a prodding from Sirius, "What book is it?"

Lily, seeming to believe James, looked about the room with her brilliant green eyes and sighed. "Just a library book, but I need it for the report for Charms."

James and Sirius sat bolt upright. "REPORT?!" they shouted in unison, terrifying a group of first year girls sitting near the window. "CHARMS?!" they shouted again.

Lily shook her head resignedly. "Yes. Two feet of parchment. I suggest that, unless you wish to stay near the top of the class, that you get started on it."

"And perhaps finish it," piped up Sirius, who looked terrified. "So..." he began. "What's it supposed to be on?"

"You weren't paying attention at all, were you?" Lily said in more of statement than a question.

Sirius grinned. "Nope." His grin faded. "Well Prongs, I guess we had best start on it, eh?" He nudged his friend with an elbow and stood up, stretching.

James stood and looked at Lily. "So, what _is_ the paper on?"

Lily smiled slightly and folded her arms. "You have to find an unusual charm; one not used in class – ever – and you're to write about it."

"What about performing it? Do we have to –"

"No, no. Heavens, no! I heard that Snape researched some ancient hex or something. It sounded terribly...illegal." She gave a wry smile and looked at the portrait hole, which had just opened. In walked Remus Lupin, resident werewolf, flanked by Peter Pettigrew, resident...Hufflepuff gone Gryffindor.

"Hello Remus, Peter," Lily acknowledged. "Look, I'm terribly sorry to remove my presence from your little inner circle, but I really must find that damned book!" she said with much flourish, and turned back to the girl's dormitories.

Sirius shook is head. "I wonder what book it is..." Something wild was glimmering in his eye. Remus noticed and immediately began to counter whatever Sirius was thinking.

"Oh dear God! What are you thinking about, now? Because whatever it is, it can wait until you do your charms reports."

Sirius looked simply appalled. "And how, my dearest Moony, did you know that we failed to, erm, pick up the assignment?" he asked.

Remus smiled. "Because, dearest Padfoot, you always forget." He lightly padded a bewildered Sirius on the shoulder and proceeded up the dorm rooms. Sirius followed at a run, skipping steps and nearly knocking over two fourth years in the process.

"WAIT! _Moooony__!_ What was that supposed to mean?!" he hollered, his voice echoing down from the dormitories before something slammed, a loud "SHIT!", more thuds, and then silence, ensued.

James and Peter, sharing a worried look, ran to the stairs to find Sirius laying flat on his back, an open book lying near his head.

"What the hell was that?" James asked, feeling concerned, but still highly entertained, as he helped his best mate off of the staircase.

Sirius groaned and rubbed his back. "Ow...Damn book!" he grumbled, and picked it up.

'Time Travellers Universe, and Other Odd Charms to Please the Wandering Wizard' was the title. The title took up two rows of golden script on the maroon, leather cover of the book. Inside, the pages were wrinkled and yellowed with age, but the bright gold leafing along the edges stood out vividly.

"Ha, I think you may have found Lily's book, Padfoot," James said, throwing an arm around his friend and holding the book in the other.

"Oy, Peter!" he shouted. Peter marched up the stairs to meet them.

"No," he said.

James and Sirius reeled backward in unison. "No?! But I haven't even asked a bloody question yet!"

Peter just shook his head, looking entirely amused. "Whatever it is, I'm not doing it."

"Oh but Wormy, you must!" Sirius begged, rubbing his head and wincing slightly.

"If you call me Wormy again, I'll never do anything you ask of me ever. EVER. Again." He threw in a threatening note at the end, and proceeded past the two stunned Marauders, who in turn threw cheeky smiles at one another, and marched up after him.

"That's our Wormtail!" Sirius and James declared together, and entered the dorm amid much fanfare, provided, only, by Sirius and James.

"I'm not your Wormtail!" Peter cried, looking revolted at the very idea.

"The nickname _was_ my idea," countered Sirius.

"No it wasn't. It was _his_!" yelled James for some reason, and he threw his arms out in mock indignation.

"But speaking of bright ideas," Remus cut in. He was currently submerged within the depths of James' copy of 'Quidditch Through the Ages'. "Why don't you give that book back to Evans before she clobbers you." He looked up, grinning at the truth to the utterly absurd statement. And then he added as an afterthought, "And start on your reports."

But Peter, who was now holding the book, had another idea. Sirius was the first to notice, and the first to wholeheartedly agree. He always was. That was just his personality; agree before you even know what's coming, or blame it on Snape when it goes wrong.

"Whatever it is, Wormy," (Glare from Peter) "I'm up for it!" he announced to a room full of perplexed onlookers. Well, two perplexed onlookers, anyway.

"You don't even know what I was thinking, Padfoot," observed Peter, hugging the book against him to prevent Sirius from stealing it back. That was another facet of Sirius' personality; steal things that present good ideas and pranks. And incriminating information against Snape.

"Oh I know." He tapped his head with a finger and made a serious face. "I just know."

"Like hell, Padfoot!" Peter let loose a wicked grin and backed up slowly.

"Peter's right, I'm afraid."

"Yep, yep. Totally correct."

"Aren't you two curious?" Sirius nearly shouted. "I mean, bloody hell, Peter's THINKING!"

"Thanks Paddy."

"Any—HEY! What is this 'Paddy' business?"

"Wormy...Paddy...Prongy...Moony—Wait...Moony! That's not fair!" an outraged Peter whined.

Remus grinned over the cover of the book, not removing his eyes from it as he turned the page. "Luck of the draw, eh?"

James, who had up until now been quite silent, finally spoke, though it wasn't anything truly important. "Prongy?"

A brief moment of silence falls upon the room.

"5...4...3...2...1...James finally lets it sink in!"

James strode over to his bed and chucked a scarlet pillow at Sirius' head. It hit him; effectively mussing up his hair and making it appear quite a bit like one James Potter's.

"Not the HAIR, man!" he raged, and threw the pillow back.

"So what is this brilliant plan of yours, Peter?" inquired James as he ducked below the flying projectile.

"Brilliant? I never said it was brilliant. In fact," he paused a moment, suddenly very pleased. "I never even stated that I had a plan in the first place."

"Well you certainly didn't deny it! Now out with it, you!"

There was little hesitation before Peter flopped down on his bed and began to speak, his voice excited. "You looked at the cover, did you not?"

Sirius and James nodded, bemused.

"Well, it said 'Time Travellers'," he stated simply, and smiled again.

"Annnd...?" Sirius pressed on.

"Annnd that means that there are obviously charms for, oh, say, going back and forward in time!" He held up the book to show Remus, who had now put down 'Quidditch Through the Ages' and was looking quite intrigued.

"Those are probably complex charms, Worms."

"WORMS?!" He chucked the book at Sirius, who caught it and opened it up in one swift motion.

Sirius began to scan over the pages, thoroughly interested. The lull in activity prompted James to take out his Charms book, two rolls of parchment and quill (later remembering ink) and set up the supplies on one of the roll top desks to begin the report.

"But if we haven't done this in class, and if we aren't ever going to do this in class, then...I need a new book. Oi! Padfoot, could you lend me Lily's for a minute?" He turned round in his seat and made irritating puppy eyes at Sirius, who threw the book at James.

"Can't you ever stop throwing things?" Remus asked, and he threw the copy of 'Quidditch Through the Ages' back upon James' bed. It missed and thudded to the floor. "Whoops!"

"You know, I've been thinking," began Sirius thoughtfully.

"Oh no. Head for the hills. Sirius Black has finally engaged his brain in an activity in which it has surely never been engaged before," Remus said in a monotone.

"Cor, Padfoot! Want a medal?" offered James, who was now bent over the opened tome, and frenziedly writing the essay.

Opting to ignore the chiding from his peers and fellow mischief-making fiends, Sirius continued unabated. "You know what would be fun?" Without waiting for a response, he carried on. "We should go into the future and see if any of us have kids!"

Silence fell upon the Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief Makers. James slowly turned to face his best mate, concern playing with horror across his face. He adjusted his glasses in a slow, calculated movement, and flicked his eyes to Remus, who merely shrugged. Peter blinked bemusedly.

"Uh, no," someone finally said. That someone happened to be Peter, who had now sat down upon his bed again. "No. Just...just no."

"I'm with Worms," James announced quickly.

"As am I," Remus agreed.

"What? My fellow pranksters are backing out?"

"Do I really need three different nicknames?"

"Backing out of what? How can we have out if there isn't anything to back out of?" Remus stated pointedly.

"Yes you do, Peter."

"_Think_ about it, Moony! Think of all we could teach them!"

"If they haven't been corrupted already." The werewolf had a point.

Sirius waved an impatient hand in the air. "It could be fun!"

"And dangerous."

"And illegal."

Sirius wheeled round to face his best mate, his jaw unhinged. "DANGEROUS?!" he sputtered. "ILLEGAL?! Since when has that ever stopped us?"

"McGonagall –"

"MCGONAGALL! Now WHY did you have to go and drag _her_ into it, Jamsie!"

"Work on your charms assignment, Sirius." All were desperately trying to get his mind off of such a foolhardy idea.

"You just think about it! That is all I am asking of you."

James and Remus sighed as one. "What if we don't even have kids? For one, you know the legend about sleeping with werewolves. And I, for one, don't want to find out if it's true. And what year will we go to? It could be completely off!"

"Too risky," James agreed.

"I've always been fond of the number 21."

"No. Higher than that."

"What legend?"

"So you want to do it?!" Sirius said excitedly.

Messrs. Moony, Prongs and Wormtail (Worms, Wormy...) shook their heads simultaneously. "No. We want you to finish your charms assignment," Mr. Prongs said, and he turned back to his own.

"No, seriously. What legend?"

Though Sirius finally managed to finish his Charms assignment, he did not drop the matter of careening into the future. In fact, he carried on with his wild menagerie of ideas all throughout the next day, starting as the group of four blearily made their way into the Great Hall for breakfast the next morning.

"But really! Think about it for a minute!"

"NO!" Remus shouted, though his voice was dry and croaky being that he still happened to be half-asleep and not even remotely interested.

"Mooooony!" Sirius pleaded. "You're sensible! Just – just go with me for a minute here –"

"NO!" all three of Sirius' friends hollered.

"Would it really be that bad?" Sirius now sounded panicked, as if he desperately wanted to know what his friends thought was so bad about such a 'harmless' little endeavour.

"It could be," offered Peter. "Really, Sirius...Who knows what could have happened to us by then. You-Know-Who could have destroyed Hogwarts, and the war could be going on."

James agreed. "Yeah, Sirius. If Voldemort is slowly building up his reserves now, who knows how bad he could be twenty-something years from now."

This evidently gave something for Sirius to chew on, at least until he got a hold of some bangers instead. The topic was revived instantaneously as the four marauding Gryffindors sat down at the Gryffindor table.

"And if he is," Everyone groaned as Sirius began another round of convincing. "we could just go back!"

"Have you even looked at the spell, Sirius?" asked Remus through a mouthful of toast. "Because we have to know everything about it in order to even think about going anywhere."

Sirius took this advice as some sort of prompting to run to the library, obviously thinking that Remus had given him permission to go through with the plan.

"Sirius!" James called, and he soon followed his friend out of the hall and eventually met up with him as they neared the library.

"We're going to miss, of all classes, Charms! Now come on! We have to get to class." He launched himself at Sirius and latched his arms around his chest, and began to pull him backward. Sirius pressed forward, completely undeterred, and seemingly unaware that he was half-dragging James Potter behind him.

"You. Can. Do. This. Later!" James grunted, trying to pulling his friend away from the horizon of the black hole that was the Hogwarts library.

When Sirius had finally been restrained and brought back to breakfast, it appeared that he had been mysteriously quieted, and did not bring up the spell again. At least, he waited a good few minutes before saying anything at all, much to the relief of all those sitting near him.

Unfortunately, as Peter reached across the table to nick another piece of toast, Sirius was jolted back into the argument full force. Apparently, the toast was to blame.

"Why don't you want to do this?" pressed Sirius, as he violently stabbed his fork into a half-empty plate of bangers.

Beside him, James sighed and put his fork down.

"Because," he said. "It's creepy! If you ran into Padfoot Jr.—"

"Or Pronglet," suggested Sirius amusedly.

Pausing a brief moment in order to glare pointedly at him, James continued, inwardly cringing. _Pronglet?!_ "Exactly," he brandished his fork at Sirius in a don't-suggest-that-sort-of-thing-if-you-don't-want-me-to-hurt-you sort of way. "And personally, although I do believe that I speak for everyone currently present, other than you, when I saw that I do not want to meet Pronglet or Quarter Moony."

Remus snorted. "Half Moony would be more appropriate, don't you think?" And then he interjected his own thought. "But you must always remember, Sirius...the legend! Remember the legend!"

"What legend?!" exclaimed Peter, in a wash of indignation and frustrated curiosity.

He was dutifully ignored.

"Well then you've nothing to worry about, mate!" stated Sirius enthusiastically. He sat up straighter on his part of the bench. "And besides!" He now turned to look at James, who winced. "Who wouldn't want to meet Pronglet?"

James threw a pleading look at Remus and Peter, who both immediately came rushing to his aid. Or, at least, Remus did. Peter glared at his plate and muttered something that sounded like "what bloody legend?"

"Interacting with the future is _dangerous_, Sirius," Remus began coolly. "Not only could we find out information that we do not want to know—"

"Like what?!" Sirius looked completely gobsmacked that his fellow marauding brothers did not share his desire to learn forbidden information.

"Like, like..." Remus was now grappling for words suitable enough to put Sirius in his place. "Like, like ANYTHING!" Take that, Sirius!

"Like what, exactly?" Sirius shot back, narrowing his eyes and folding his arms. He seemed to be daring Remus to live up to his accusations. Remus, of course, could, and he therefore, did.

"Well, and this is obviously unconfirmed—"

"Though it could easily be."

"I don't believe you'd want this to be confirmed, Padfoot. You could very well be friends with Snape, or some evil dark lord."

"More likely Snape is some friend of an evil dark lord," mumbled Sirius, who seemed to be put out at being mentioned in a sentence containing the words 'Snape' and 'friends'.

"And moreover." Peter had suddenly become struck with inspiration. "What would you do if you came face to face with your father when he was your age?"

"I would be slightly scared, I will not deny it. But hear me out!" he added as quickly as possible so as not to seem as though he had been put in the wrong. "I never said he had to talk to them. We can take James' invisibility cloak and—"

Shaking his head, Peter added, "And somehow keep absolutely silent and basically non-us for Merlin knows how long?"

"We could do it!"

"Not in this lifetime, old chap," Peter concluded.

"Oh stop putting the dampener on things. What happened to our mischief-making spirits? Have we all forgotten our reputation? This would be the icing on the cake of feats!"

"I believe that becoming," casting a nervous look about, Peter continued in barely more than a whisper. "Becoming Animagi is, was, and will be the icing on the cake. Although I'm not sure I like being a rat."

"And Moony is a rather embarrassing nickname," added Remus thoughtfully.

"Don't divert from the matter at hand!" commanded Sirius.

Remus had evidently had enough. He stood up, shouldered his bag, and crossed his arms.

"The day Peter -- sorry Peter," he added.

"'S okay, Remus."

"The day Wormy—"

"Now that I will _not_ tolerate!"

"The day Worms masters the charm to travel though time is the day that we utilize it. In laymen's terms, I advise no one to hold his breath." His voice had risen stridently in his irritation, and because Peter was making angry remarks about being called 'Worms'.

Remus left.

Sirius, looking positively put out yet again, called after him, "Well, that was completely uncalled for!"

James turned sharply where he was seated; his elbow knocking over his goblet of pumpkin juice as he did so, and thus staining the linen round James' immediate area a bright shade of orange. He leant back sharply. "Bullocks! Well, honestly Sirius! You've been going on about this for far, _far_ too long."

Sirius spluttered indignantly as he assisted in cleaning up the mess of juice by use of his wand. The stain quickly disappeared, leaving the table white again.

"Look," sighed James as he picked up his bag and made to stand up. "We usually don't care about risks, or at least, we don't usually address them. The point is," He sighed again and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "That involves _way_ too much risk, and we have to address it because it's the _future_!"

"_I_ wasn't going to do anything. Remus' orders, mate." He smiled in a way that made James' insides give an almighty flip, and then he looked at Peter.

James, cottoning on with help from the flip of his stomach, widened his metal-framed eyes, but refrained from saying anything. He couldn't. Nothing would deter dear Padfoot.

Nothing and no one.

"I do believe that we have charms, Prongs." Sirius then turned to Peter. "Wormtail, a word if you please." He turned to James. "Excuse us, James."

Knowing it was useless to try and stop him, although he could very well try, James threw Peter the obligatory sympathetic look, realising that his dear friend was about to be thrown to the lions. Things weren't looking up. Remus had made one of the biggest blunders of his life (second only to being bitten by a werewolf), and now they would all be paying for it.

Unless...

James smiled as an idea slipped silently into his head, and in celebration of this thought, he nonchalantly hexed Evan Rosier's hair a bright yellow as he headed up the staircase to Charms. The poor Slytherin would never know until someone pointed it out to him.


	3. Of really, really, really annoying famil...

**The Wayward Trio**

By Hilarity

**Of really, really, really annoying family members and the qualifications for being a pouf**

_"Shalom, my lonesome prairie dog!"_

A week passed, and James was feeling rather...nervous, if truth be told. Remus had assured him on multiple occasions that, no, the spell was not like a portkey and no, he wouldn't be suddenly pulled into the future.

James wasn't sure he believed Remus. Sure, Remus was honest and smart. And a prefect. And full of common sense. Not to mention that he was honest. And trustworthy...But, but...

Ah, hell. James had every reason to trust Remus, but Sirius...Sirius was another matter entirely.

Currently, James was sitting in Potions, giving the concoction in his cauldron an angry glare, and, out of the corner of his eye, watching Sirius as he muttered indiscernible somethings under his breath, and scribbled indiscernible somethings on a piece of parchment covered in, what looked like, the scratchings of a dozen mad, ink-covered Cornish pixies.

Just to see if Sirius was aware that he was to be making a potion, James nudged his elbow a bit and sent a vile of pomegranate juice crashing to the floor. The vile shattered and pink liquid sprayed across Sirius's left shoe. He didn't even move.

"Potter!" barked the potions mistress, her eyes twinkling amusedly. "Keep your elbows in check, won't you?"

James quickly waved his wand, and the shards of glass reconnected themselves into a very battered-looking glass vile. With another wave of his wand, the remainder of the liquid disappeared, and when he re-emerged above the table, he was stunned to see that Sirius's potion was already finished (correctly) and viled. Spluttering indignantly, James turned to his own blue, cement-like concoction, and violently jabbed his wand into it. The potion spat angrily, sending livid white sparks a good metre into the air, before turning back into the blue, cement-like concoction once more.

"Potter!" their professor barked again. "Don't poke your potion, boy!" She sounded highly amused, though her lips were doing quite the job of impersonating McGonagall.

James inwardly cringed.

"'S why I'm not a prefect, and Remus is, Professor," he said as he attempted to measure powdered root of asphodel, tongue between his teeth in concentration.

"You could have been a prefect, you know," their professor continued as though this were one of James's frequent, lonely detentions, devoid of the prying eyes of other students.

"Me? A prefect? Never!" exclaimed James, looking scandalised.

"You tell her, James," said Sirius as he stood to deliver his vile of potion to the professor.

"Ah, Sirius Black decides to grace us with his presence, does he?" muttered James as he added the asphodel into the cauldron. The potion turned pink.

"Always," said Sirius over his shoulder.

James, feeling a sudden wave of bitterness come over him, took up his pestle and began to absently grind the wood of his desk. Sirius came back, gave him a look that consisted of a raised eyebrow, and said, "The beetles mate."

Frowning, James began to crunch the beetles into powder. He added them to the potion, which hissed pleasantly, and watched the mixture turn to the proper shade of orange. He viled it quickly, and ran up to the front of the class, hitting his leg on Alice Prewett's desk, and causing her potion to slosh over the sides.

He muttered apologies, quickly cleaned up the mess, and ran back to his seat. Sirius was leaning back in his chair with the casual air of boredom about him once more.

"Black," barked their professor. "Sit in the chair properly, or I'll take it away." She didn't look up from her grading.

"James," began Sirius as he lowered the chair onto all four legs. "How does she do that?"

"Magic, Black," came the answer.

James snorted as he scoured his cauldron and put away his ingredients. Sirius hit him squarely on the head with his wand. "Berk," he said softly.

_"Black."_

"Sorry, Professor!"

A half-hour later, the bell rang, and the herds were released from the pen. Or rather, Sirius, James, Remus and Peter darted from the classroom, knocking chairs over in their wake as they made haste to greet the wonderful sight of their common room.

Rounding a corner, all four came to an abrupt halt, and Sirius expressed his feelings with a rather unsavoury exclamation of disgust.

The four began to walk again, flanked by a fifth, much uninvited, guest.

"Go away," Sirius said in a monotone, looking deliberately ahead of him. "Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away..."

"Don't start with me, you great prat!" Bellatrix Black, a fourth year Slytherin, chided. She hovered next to Sirius, grinning a maniacal grin and looking at him through heavy-lidded eyes.

"Go away. Go away. Go away..."

"Spoken to Auntie?"

"Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away..."

"I'll take that as a very blatant 'no'. You're going to be spending the whole summer in the cellar, you know."

"GO AWAY. GO AWAY. GO AWAY. GO AWAY!"

"Kreacher will be delighted to have company!"

"TRIXIE!" Bellowed Sirius, stopping to look at his cousin. "GO. AWAY!"

"DON'T CALL ME TRIXIE!!!!" she screeched, causing heads to turn.

"Don't you have Acromantulas to feed yourself to or something?" asked Sirius as he began to walk again.

"Nope."

"Well bloody find one, then!" And with that, Sirius grabbed Bellatrix's shoulders and spun the girl in the opposite direction.

"FINE! BUT IT'LL BE RAISED IN YOUR ROOM, SIRIUSLY NOT A BLACK!" she shrieked as she walked in the opposite direction.

Sirius groaned. "I haaaaate her."

"I'm sure that she has..._some_...redeeming qualities," put in Remus. Bellatrix began to shriek more comments at her cousin. "Or not."

"Too right you are. She's mad, you know. Raises Acromantulas, and Merlin knows what else, in the attic. Mum went berserk when she found out. Bella's mum nearly died of shock. If only she had. Oh to not have to live with them..."

"Raises Acromantulas in your attic?" Peter said, sounding wary.

"Yup."

"In your _attic_?!"

"Yup. Although," added Sirius thoughtfully. "I once found a baby Acromantula in my wardrobe. Thought it was dead at first, until it decided to eat me. I didn't manage to, so I think Mum got a little depressed. She locked me in the cellar."

James snorted.

"Listen. If I run off, I'm going to stay at your place, all right James?"

"What? Oh, er...Yeah! Of course!"

"That's the ticket," smiled Sirius as he clapped James on the back.

"SIRIUS!"

Sirius groaned. "Not _another_ one! WHEN WILL IT END?!"

"Oi!"

"Go away, Reg."

"Berk."

"Prat."

"Wanker."

"Twonk."

"Pouf."

(Insert crickets here)

"What's a pouf?"

"You."

"Well, yes. I'd gathered as much...But what is one, specifically? I mean, what are the qualifications for being a pouf?"

"Well," began, of all people, Peter. "In Divination, there are poufs...But those are like...uh, big stuffed bags that one sits on."

"Ah. So I'm something one sits on?" inquired Sirius, looking thoughtfully at his second year Slytherin brother.

"Well, we could always find out, couldn't we? What say you, dearest brother?" He withdrew his wand.

"No need for that, Regular," said Sirius with a smile. He patted his brother on the head as if he were some sort of dog.

"The hair, Sirius! Please! And do not call me Regular, you twat."

The group of five once more began to walk in the general direction of Gryffindor Tower. Regulus had gone into a spiel on the importance of letting Bellatrix raise fearsome beasts in the family manor, and that the cellar wasn't so bad, really. Sirius was only half listening, and James was doing the thousand-metre stare. Meanwhile, Peter had nearly fallen asleep, and Remus was fighting to look even remotely interested.

"Hey, Reg," yawned Sirius. "Go back to the dungeons, and spend extra time with Trixie."

Regulus looked mildly hurt. "You'll damage her mental state by referring to her as 'Trixie', Sirius."

"Indeed." And in the same fashion as he had done with Bellatrix, he spun his younger brother round and pushed him in the direction of the dungeons. Regulus did not protest.

"He's a bit mild, isn't he, Sirius?" commented Remus as they began to climb another staircase.

"Yeah. I s'pose. He's awfully...odd, though. At home, I mean. Has obsessions with Narcissa's make up..." He shook his head in order to clear his thoughts of such a mentally molesting image.

When they had climbed the fourth staircase, they came across Evan Rosier, whose hair, James was delighted to notice, was still bright yellow. The Slytherin had obviously only just discovered that this was the case, as he was flushed scarlet as he spoke with seventh year Gryffindor, and Head Boy, Frank Longbottom.

As the marauding quartet passed dear Rosier, James hexed the poor boy's hair purple, and Sirius added a flare of pink tips to his fringe to complete the look. Frank Longbottom snorted rather loudly. "Nope, never mind there mate. Your hair is not yellow at all! My mistake!" He patted the bewildered Slytherin on the shoulder and continued to walk up the staircase in order to meet up with James and his crew.

"I'm going to have to take points, you know," informed Frank as he smiled broadly. "Brilliant as it was, I _am_ Head Boy."

James nodded morosely. "Yes, yes. It is your duty to uphold the law that is Minerva McGonagall."

"Indeed. So, how's five points? Makes me seem like I'm doing my job, but really doesn't put Gryffindor in harm's way."

"You're a good man, Frank Longbottom. A good man," commented Sirius.

"So, you reckon Rosier has forgotten his natural hair colour by now?" asked James.

"That _was_ the idea, after all."

"Taking advantage of the poor wanker's stupidity, are we?"

All remained silent until the right choice of words could be found. "Why yes, dearest Frank. Of course!"

"How're you styling it for the match next weekend?" inquired Frank.

Sirius and James thought for a moment, but it was Remus who spoke. "The match is Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw, is it not?"

All nodded.

"Well, how about yellow and black?"

There was a brief moment when the statement sunk it. Apparently, Sirius absorbed it first, as he immediately stopped walking.

"That's my Moony!" shouted Sirius, and he hugged Remus with such force that the poor werewolf was knocked backwards a bit. "You devil, you!" Sirius ruffled Moony's hair playfully.

"Right. Stop. Sirius. Now," James commanded, and Sirius sprang to a salute.

"What? Sniff your potions again, Sirius?" asked Frank through a toothy grin.

"I've only done that once! Once, I tell you! So shut your gob! I'll not have rumours going round the school about me!" He thought for a moment. "Bad ones, that is."

"I'm confused," Peter squeaked. "Why are we colouring Rosier's hair Hufflepuff -"

As one, Remus, Sirius, James and Frank brought palm for forehead and let out an explosive sigh.

"Some day, Worms," said James as he threw one arm lazily over Peter's shoulders. "Some day, you'll understand the finer points of pranks, and why it would make Rosier look very, very stupid to be supporting a team not even playing. Especially when his own team isn't playing, either."

Peter frowned, displaying an amount of confusion that could be considered unhealthy. "But, why are we colouring his hair Hufflepuff colours?"

"Never you mind, Peter. Never you mind."

"At least you understand that it's Hufflepuff colours," Sirius pointed out.

"Yes, but -"

By now, they had reached the Fat Lady, who was currently snoring softly.

"OI!" shouted Sirius.

The Fat Lady let out a great snort, opened one eye, and frowned dangerously. "Mr. Black!" she shrieked.

It is a sure sign that one is famous for his pranks, to be not only noticed by the Fat Lady, but to have her learn ones name, as well.

"Billywig," Remus said quickly, and before the Fat Lady could say any more to reprimand Sirius, and before Sirius could torment the Fat Lady any further, the portrait swung open, and the five clambered inside the Gryffindor common room.

Despite the beginnings of summer weather, a fire had been lit in the grate, and a few students were scattered about next to it. There was an obvious division between the fifth years, seventh years, and everyone else, decipherable due to the large amount of books the fifth and seventh years had noses jammed inside of, and visible beats of sweat on the foreheads of those nowhere near the grate.

"Hmm," Sirius thought out loud. "We ought to study or something."

"Fair point," muttered Frank as he left the group in order to meet up with Alice Prewett, a fellow seventh year and prefect.

"What?"

"Never mind," mumbled James. "You want to study? Let's get our books and do so, then."

"Not that we need to, or anything," countered Sirius, looking rather proud of himself.

"Well, you two may be Wizarding geniuses, but I need to study in order to keep top grades, so I'm going to do so."

Remus walked briskly up the staircase to the boy's dormitories in order to fetch his books, while James, Sirius and Peter sat down in the farthest, coldest corner of the common room. Not five seconds had elapsed, when Sirius took from his bag, a deep maroon book, and flipped it open on his lap.

James started, and choked on air.

"You may need to get yourself some water, Prongs ol' boy," mumbled Sirius, distractedly. He held up his wand and a stream of water erupted from the end, spraying James in the face.

"Oi! Sirius! Sirius! SIRIUS!" sputtered James. "STOP!" he shouted.

Sirius looked up, and his face cracked into a grin. "Ha! And by Jove, look who it is!"

James spun round just as Remus entered the common room from the boy's dormitories and began to walk over to them.

"Moony, Sirius?"

"Nice look for you, James. Flattens your hair...slightly." Remus sat down and opened up his Transfiguration book, taking a chance look at what Sirius was reading. He choked on air in much the same fashion as James had.

James clasped onto Sirius's wand before the boy could do any more damage to anyone else.

"You're still on about that bloody time travelling spell!" Remus hissed. Sirius nodded, his eyes scanning the page. He nodded to himself, snapped the book shut, and looked at Peter.

"And we've got it!"

James and Remus looked at one another, eyes wide.

"What?" croaked James as he dried off his robes.

"Peter and I have mastered the spell!" announced Sirius. The look on his face read that he was excepting some sort of congratulatory pat on the back, but the looks that he received read that he was about to be thumped into the ground.

"You twonk!" shouted James. Heads turned, but quickly turned back.

"In this instance, I must concur with Prongs. You're nutters," said Remus in a hushed voice.

"You said we could do it if Peter learnt the spell, Moony."

"Damn. I did, didn't I? James, hit me please."

James was about to fulfil the werewolf's request, when Sirius grabbed hold of his arm. "No! Just, please! Come on! Peter and I decided that we're going twenty-four years into the future, because Peter's birthday is the twenty-fourth of March, and since my birthday is on the third of April...Anyway, just, just please! If we never do another prank again..."

Sighing, Remus began to nod his head. "Fine, fine!" He shut his eyes and sighed in defeat. "Wake me when it's over."

Sirius jumped up. "Really?! You'll do it?!"

James groaned. "As if we have a choice in the matter."

"You're right. Well, come on, then!"

"Can't we have dinner, first?"

Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs managed to eat dinner that night. They almost managed to stay in 1972 for another week and a half, managing to fit in O.W.Ls as well, much to the disgust of Sirius, who had been bent on missing them.

James had been sulking for three days, due to a breakthrough. He had come to realise that Lily Evans would never, ever like him. Ever. But he wouldn't just turn round and act in the manner that Lily wished him to. No! He was James Potter, damnit, and...And Lily Evans hated him!

"Sirius," said the sulking James as he stared into the fire in hopes that he would go blind and not have to ever see Lily again. "Let's do it. Now."

There was no response, so James looked up. No one was there. He sighed and sank deeper into the couch, hoping to disappear completely. It was a Saturday, and rain was drizzling outside of the windows, splashing the bevelled glass.

"Okay! Here we are, then!" announced Sirius. James looked up, startled. "Don't act so surprised, Prongs! You requested that we leave. Now."

Remus and Peter emerged from the dormitories, both looking apprehensive.

"WORMS!" bellowed Sirius. "Your assistance is needed, post haste."

Scowling, Peter walked hesitantly over to Sirius. "The circle, right?"

"Correct."

Peter began to place multi-coloured stones about the room, presumably in a fashion that would create a temporary ward.

"Where did you get those, Sirius?" demanded Remus.

"Nicked 'em."

"From...?"

"Done!"

Sirius smiled contentedly and stared at the stones. "Well done," he commended. "Now, everyone, stand in the middle of these stones, and...Oh wait...nope, never mind."

Remus held up a hand. "What are the elements of this, er, spell, Sirius?"

Sirius shut his mouth, looked thoughtfully at Remus, and began. "Well, you need someone of every person intending to go. The person itself is the best. But you have to be holding some sort of element of them. Like, er...say...a shirt or something. Anyway, I suggest that you make sure that you don't have any borrowed items on yourselves at the moment. Even though you have to be holding said item, we don't want any chances, now do we?"

All three nodded, but did not do anything, so Sirius continued.

"Uhm...So we'll stand in the middle of the ward doohickey like so." He stepped back. "And then I mutter the spell, wave my wand, and _POOF!_ we're twenty-four years into the future!"

"So it'll be," Remus stopped to think, and glanced at his watch. "This exact day, this exact time, only it'll be 1996?"

Sirius nodded eagerly. "Yes indeed, Moony."

"And if we do not find anyone of any particular - The cloak! Did anyone grab it?"

Sirius looked, to put it lightly, gobsmacked. "GRAB IT!" he bellowed again.

"I'll cast a silencing charm on us, if you want," offered Remus. Sirius nodded. "That would be grand, but do it when we arrive, because it could conflict with the spell, okay?"

"Sounds good."

James returned with the silvery Invisibility Cloak less than a minute later, and was soon standing next to Remus, panting.

"All set? Everyone have his wand?"

All nodded.

"Brilliant!" He looked round the common room wistfully. "Shalom, my lonesome prairie dog!" he said. He raised his wand and began to wave it, muttering Latin incantations under his breath.

James was only half-interested in this. He heard noises upstairs, and soon, the sound of thundering footfalls met his ears. He gulped when he saw Lily Evans emerge from the staircase leading to the girls' dormitories. She charged down the stairs, a musty, green book in one of her hands, and walked right in front of James. He gulped again.

Sirius, it seemed, had not noticed her presence.

"JAMES POTTER!" she shrieked, inches from his face. James gulped yet again. Evans was positively _frightening_! Beautiful, smart, and funny...but _frightening_! _Bless her._

The next few seconds were but a blur in the memories of all standing in the circle, and of one unlucky Slytherin walking across the grounds.

The world began to spin, and James shut his eyes to keep from being sick. Another second elapsed, and they found themselves exactly where they had been standing before. Nothing had changed except that the fire had gone out.

Lily looked livid, and Sirius, upon noticing her presence, looked afraid for his life. "Evans!" he half-wailed. "Moony! Find me a Daily Prophet!"

"James Potter! What are you four doing in the common room, bellowing like a bunch of raving nutters? You completely ruined Alice Prewett's silencing charm that she had been teaching to me, not to mention, you were..." She trailed off, looking concerned. Her eyes were no longer looking at James, but were looking just over his left shoulder.

"Well, it worked Padfoot," said Remus. "I don't know if this is today's Prophet or not, but it isn't..." He looked hesitantly at Lily.

"What's going on?" she asked, sounding half-annoyed, and half-fearful. "What have you done?"

"Now, Evans. You might want to -" But he was cut off by the sounds of the portrait hole swinging open. He grabbed Lily's arm and pulled her behind the scarlet curtains of the common room window, Remus, Sirius and Peter in tow.

"POTTER!" she shouted. James clapped a hand over her mouth.

The footsteps that had entered the common room had now trailed off and up the steps to the boys' dormitories. The four boys listened intently, and when the presence of no other person could be detected, they emerged from the curtains.

If Lily had been livid before, it was nothing compared to how angry she happened to be now.

"JAMES POTTER!" she shrieked. "What are you DOING?! How dare you -"

Remus interjected as quickly as possible. "Look, er..." He gnawed his lip nervously when Lily shot him a glare. "We'll explain everything when we get to, er, a safer location. Just trust us on this. Please?"

"No. Tell me why you're hiding, first."

"Because," said Sirius even when James shot him a look that clearly said do-not-say-anything-you-giant-berk, but he carried on. "it's 1996."

Lily's demeanour changed instantly. She lowered her voice several decibels, and narrowed her eyes. "What?"

"We, er, Sirius was using a time travelling charm, and er...you kind of interfered, and uhm...Is that your book?" James couldn't help noticing how incredibly...non-Evans-like that book appeared.

"What?" She stared incredulously at James, seemingly still digesting the outrageous information he had just fed her. "Book? Oh! Er - no, it isn't. Why?"

Sirius sat down.

"Whose is it?" Remus chanced.

"Severus Snape's."

"Fuck."

"Sirius Black!" chided Lily. She turned to look at Remus. "Are we really, truly, seriously in 1996?"

Remus nodded heavily.

"Damn."

"Lily Evans!" chided James, and he couldn't help but hide a smile as she sank down next to Sirius, though she obviously didn't notice it.

"Well, then...If we are...then...er...we have to...uhm..."

"Hide. Right. The cloak, Sirius?"

There was a palpable silence as Sirius took in a deep breath, but did not release it. "Damn."

"What?" croaked James.

"You don't have it?!"

"Don't have what?" asked Lily.

"You left it behind?!"

"You pouf!"

"Now don't start that again."

"Please take note that I would kill you, but we don't know how to get back without you." Remus sank down in an armchair.

"I feel loved."

"We have got to get out of here!" burst Peter.

"Wormy's right. Move, people!"

"No! We have got to find Sniv - er, Snape!" said James, quickly eyeing Lily.

Though no one wanted to accept it, all knew that James was right. It wasn't safe. He wouldn't know what had happened. But where had he been when the spell had taken effect?

"We could just let him figure it out on his own."

Lily shook her head, and her shoulder-length red hair bobbed softly. "No. It's far too dangerous."

"Let's get out of here, at least!" whinged Peter.

"Fine, fine. Find the Room of Requirement. Think of locator charms, or a room to hide in, or, or something! Anything!"

"The Room of what?" asked Lily as she stood up.

"I'll explain it to you later."

"You'd best."

"I value my life, Evans," informed James as he pushed her rather violently through the portrait hole.

"Shh!" Sirius hissed, taking charge of the vulnerable situation. "Follow me. We have to go down a few flights, and..."

He stopped, an alarmed look gracing his handsome features. "People! People!" he whispered loudly, grabbing Remus' wrist and Peter's collar. "Go!" He pushed the werewolf and the Hufflepuff wanna-be in the opposite direction of the closer staircase.

The five skidded to a halt in the doorframe of an empty classroom, and Lily shut the door with a snap.

"Alright you four insufferable twats. What are we supposed to do now? We need concealment charms."

Remus nodded thoughtfully. "I only know temporary ones."

"As do I."

"And I."

"Yup."

"Okay, so...I'll cast a temporary concealment charm on all of us, and we'll find Severus, and cast one on him as well without his even knowing. He won't know that we're here, and, he'll still be able to come back with us if I have the book." Lily was speaking rapidly and pacing back and forth, her open animosity towards the four boys watching her has obviously placed aside.

"Yes, but the spells are temporary. An hour at most, if we do them correctly."

Lily sank down along the wall. "Fine. Fine. We'll have to interact with him, then. But I'm going to cast the charm now. No one will notice us, nor will they hear us, though we will not be invisible."

"We _know_, Evans," spat Sirius.

"Could have bloody fooled me. Now. Stand there, and close together. Closer!" she barked.

"Aren't you going to join us, Evans?" asked James hopefully.

"No," said Lily coldly. "I'm going to cast it upon myself."

Remus sighed as James laughed. "You can't! You won't see us, and we won't see you!"

"Fair point and all the more reason to cast it upon myself separately."

"But you won't know how to get back, and what if we leave without you?" continued James.

Lily let out a half-groan, half-Banshee-esque screech, and stepped into the group of ne'er-do-wells. She made it a point not to stand next to Potter, whose intentions were highly questionable. Instead, she stood behind Peter, who was only two inches shorter than she, and raised her wand, muttering the spell as fast as possible.

"Give it an hour, max," she said as she stepped hurriedly away from the group. "We'll have to cast it on Severus when we are nearing the end of the duration of the spell. We'll have to cast it back upon ourselves with him included."

"I am _not_ standing next to him!"

"So, what do we do for an hour?" asked Peter.

"Pronglet hunting!" declared Sirius, and he bolted from the room without further (or any, for that matter) consent.

"No, no, no, no, no!" muttered James, and he skidded round the corner and out of the room, chasing down his best mate at a speed comparable to one that would be exerted if the chaser was being pursued by the Furies.

Remus threw Lily a look, Peter didn't do anything because he really didn't know what to do, and the three ran from the room in the same direction that Sirius and James had gone.

They finally caught up with Sirius and James inside of the Great Hall, where lunch was currently being served to a rather sombre-looking school population. Dumbledore was nowhere to be seen.

Not having to hide, or chase down Pronglet hunters, gave Hogwarts' current, yet former, students the time to think and digest the school, and the changes (or lack-thereof).

"Shall we nick some food?" suggest Peter, who was staring longingly at Gryffindor table.

"Fine," said Remus with a careless wave of his hand.

Sirius charged down the Gryffindor table with a hungry look in his eyes. He quickly sat down next to a very dishevelled-looking boy who had a slightly bruised look about his nose, and was absently poking at his empty plate with a leaden look in his eyes. Sirius waved a hand in front of the boys' face, and grinned at James when all the boy did was sigh heavily and rest his head on his hand.

Presently, a boy with sandy-coloured hair got up from his seat next to a black boy, and came over to the boy, and laid a hand on his shoulder. The boy didn't do as much as start.

"All right, Neville?" he asked in a soft Irish brogue.

The boy now known as Neville nodded sadly, and stood up. "I'm gonna go back to the Hospital Wing." The Irish boy nodded understandably, and went back to his seat.

Sirius shrugged at James, who had sat down across from him, and James made a worried face. Remus sat where Neville had been sitting, and Peter sat next to the Irish boy. Lily hovered behind the Irish boy, but was looking intently at the back of Neville's head as he left the Great Hall.

"All right, Evans?" said James.

Lily frowned and nodded. "That boy, Neville, he looks awfully familiar."

"I'd say he's the son of Alice Prewett," said Remus thoughtfully, as he helped himself to a porkchop.

"I 'gree," said Sirius through a mouthful of mashed potatoes. He swallowed. "Who d'you reckon is his dad, then?"

No one said anything. All attentions were focused on the entrance to the Great Hall. A boy was standing there. A boy with greasy, chin-length black hair. A boy with greasy, chin-length black hair and a look of pure horror on his sallow, pale face.

"Snivellus!" shouted Sirius, forgetting that Snape could not hear him. He bolted out of his seat and the others followed. Sirius grabbed Snape round the middle and tugged him back. Snape let out an anguished cry, and withdrew his wand in the blink of an eye.

"Who's there!" he half-shouted.

Sirius grabbed his arm (with a look of revolution on his face at doing so) and pulled the bewildered Slytherin backward.

But Snape was not to be underestimated. He smiled, though it was more of a grimace and did not sit well with the rest of his features, and raised his wand.

All concealment charms were dissolved instantaneously.

Lily knew what would happen next as soon as James began to flex his hands by his sides. She stood defiantly in between Snape and the rest of the group, and began to speak quickly, so that she would be heard until the end.

"Severus, I mean, er, well, you see, you need to come with us. Black and Potter made some sort of time travelling spell, and it worked, and now its 1996, and we can not stand out here where people can see us, so we have to get into another room now, so that I can cast concealment charms on all of us, understand?"

Snape sneered at Lily. "What are you on about, Mudblood?"

James made a noise of protest from behind Sirius, but Remus held him back.

"What am I on about, Snivellus?" she spat. "We're stuck in the future because I found your bloody book in my room, and...oh bleeding hell..." She sighed heavily and pulled Snape into the midst of the group so quickly that he could not fight back, and had cast another concealment charm in the blink of an eye.

"Way to go, Evans!" commended James.

Lily smiled appreciatively. "You so owe me, Potter."

James, not for the first time that day (nor the third) gulped uneasily, but smiled all the same.

Snape stepped from the group so quickly that no one noticed he'd left until Sirius pointed it out. "Snivelly's gone!"

"Stop. Calling. Him. That!" hissed Lily waspishly. "It only makes him worse. Now, follow him!"

"He doesn't believe us, obviously," said Remus as they followed Snape to the dungeons.

"Obviously. But he hasn't removed the concealment charm yet. No one's noticed him."

"And good, good, good thing," breathed Lily. She had stopped and her eyes had widened horrifically.

"Are you alright, Evans?" asked a concerned James. Lily nodded vigorously, and pointed one shaking hand down to the end of the corridor.

There, robes' billowing behind him, was a very unmistakable person. A much older Snape was now locking up a classroom at the end of the hall, and was making his way up to where the Marauders and Lily stood, who were now all rooted to the spot as if put under locomotor mortis.

Lily grabbed Sirius and Peter only just in time. Snape walked right past them, not paying them even the slightest bit of mind.

"Merlin! They made _him_ a _professor_?!" exclaimed Sirius. "_That_ is an abomination!"

"I'm loath to think of what he does to his students," put in Lily.

Remus nodded.

"Let's follow him!" said James, and without prompting, he followed his least-favourite person up and out of the dungeons. The others had no choice but to follow. They'd let the younger Snape find out about this the hard way.

Snape was making his way up a flight of stairs, when the cries of an impending duel met the ears of James. He looked down at his friends to urge them onward and upward, and had to resort to physically pulling Sirius up the stairs. The result: Sirius tripped on his robes and fell backward. Remus, Peter and Lily continued up.

The professor Snape was now speaking to someone, dislike plainly evident in his voice. From behind, the sound of someone coming up the stairs could be heard. Lily, Remus and Peter whirled round and saw a very battered-looking McGonagall hobbling up the stairs.

James threw Remus a startled look, and managed to untangle himself from Sirius and dart up after her. He stopped when he reached the top of the staircase, and immediately turned round, his face pale and his eyes dilated with fright.

**A/N:** Again, I am stuck writing this in a program devoid of spell check. It's quite painful. I do hope I spelled things correctly, but if not…Argh…

Anyway, replies, replies, replies!

**Scarlet ****Phoenix**: Thanks!

**FireSenshi**: Duly noted. J

**Lizzypadfoot**: As am I. And as you can see, it is to Harry's fifth year. And not just Harry's fifth year, but to directly after Sirius' death. It's going to be SO MUCH FUN for them!

**Arwen**: Never! I will never, ever, ever do that, so rest assured, Padfoot is safe.

**Skye0906**: Thank you! I got someone to laugh out loud! Marvelous. I'm pleased, well, more than pleased, that you found chapter two amusing. It was fun to write. Of course, with the publication of OotP between chapters two and three, I'll be changing my characterizations just a bit. A teensy bit. Mostly with the relationship with Lily.

**RabidSquirrel**: Thanks! I'm flattered!

**Malvern**: I shall try my best ;)

**Japonica**: Thank you! Glad you found this one amusing.

**dragongirlG**: Thanks! And yes, I've read quite a few very implausible "MWPP go to the future" as well. I was hoping to make this one seem just a little bit more realistic, but I don't know if I was able to do it in this chapter at all. Oh well. I'm very honored that you like it so much!


	4. First there were six, and then there wer...

**A/N:** For sake of the AU, I had a certain scene in the last chapter of OotP occur a bit sooner than it did in the book. You'll see what I mean when you get there, but just know that it was _intentional_, and not a slip up.

**The Wayward Trio**

by hilarity

**First there were six and then there were seven**

_"Perhaps he's past the stage of anger and is now wallowing in the disbelief that you'd do whatever it is you did to him."_

"What? What is it, James?" inquired Remus.

"Let's go back to the Great Hall, shall we?" said James in a very, very small voice.

"Why?" asked Sirius, coming up the stairs. "What did you spot?" And then, giving himself three steps to think it over, his eyes widened, and a grin of idiotic proportions strapped itself to his face. "Or _whom_ did you spot? Is that more correct, Prongs?"

And without another word, Sirius skipped three more steps, nearly fell down the staircase for the second time, and reached the top, where he let out a sound of mirth, and turned round to face the group of onlookers behind him.

"PRONGLET!" he shouted.

"Now, wait a minute, Sirius. It's not him. I mean, I mean..." James walked back up the stairs again, took one look at the boy to whom Sirius was referencing as being the legendary 'Pronglet', and shut his eyes as if he were going to be sick. He blanched again.

"Uh huh. And whose kid would that be, eh? Look at him! Same hair, although his isn't nearly as mussed as yours happens to be at the moment. Must not run his fingers through it every bloody minute." He appraised James, and looked at the boy. "He's got glasses, mate. He's the same height as you, looks like, and he's a bloody rail, same's you."

"Now wait just a sodding minute, here!" cried James indignantly. Lily, Remus and Peter joined James and Sirius, curiosity piqued amongst them.

"Way to go, mate!" said Sirius, as he clapped James on the back. "Chip off the old block, though he looks a bit...tried. Kind of like Moony, here." Sirius looked alarmed. "You didn't bite him, did you Moony?"

Lily raised a bemused eyebrow.

Remus scowled. "Sirius, _please_."

Sirius shrugged helplessly. "What?"

Remus cast Sirius another patronising look, and looked away only when Peter began to speak.

"Ah! Look at all those points McGonagall just gave Gryffindor! Hundreds!" ogled Peter. "He must be just as good as you are, James. I mean, maybe not as much, because no one is as good as you are--" Sirius held up a hand to silence him.

"Well, Potter, Malfoy..." McGonagall was saying.

James felt sick. Very, very sick. He clutched the railing and felt the others grab him in order to steady him.

"H-he's...and I'm...and that's...m'son..." whispered James, words having a difficult time forming on his bewildered tongue. The whole situation seemed completely sickeningly _real_ all of a sudden.

"Who's the lucky bird, mate?" said Sirius as he ruffled James's hair. "Or perhaps, unlucky, really," he amended after giving his first question some thought.

James ignored this.

"Didn't anyone else notice?" asked Remus, looking from James to Sirius to Peter, and then a quick glance at Lily.

"Notice what?" they all said in unison.

But at that moment, the boy, Pronglet, walked past Snape with an air of deepest loathing (with the full support of James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, if they hadn't been too preoccupied with making sure that James didn't fall down dead on the spot), and headed down the staircase to the Entrance Hall.

"Taking a walk is he?" said Sirius briskly, as he headed down after him. James turned round to follow, but felt lightheaded. He wobbled helplessly and Remus and Lily (though rather reluctantly) took up the roles of holding James's arms while he walked, Peter hovering behind them.

"What did you notice, Remus?" asked Lily as they stepped into the Entrance Hall.

Remus hesitated, and eyed James warily. "His eyes," he said simply.

"Thanks for that insightful bit of information, Moony," commented Sirius.

"No, you don't understand," sighed Remus with the usual tone that he reserved solely for Sirius, and said boy's ever-present idiocy.

There was a long, long pause, during which Sirius watched James's clone walk across the grounds.

"They're green."

Lily released James' arm very, very quickly and James whinged pitifully and collapsed on the spot. Lily would have joined him, if she hadn't had to help revive him.

"Oi! Prongs!" said Sirius as he dashed over to help his friends. "Cor, mate! What happened to him?"

"I, er, pointed out who the boy's mother could be. I suppose. If one puts two-and-two together, that is."

"Annnd," implored Sirius, immediately forgetting the task of waking up James, in favour of finding out this dirty bit of information.

"Er..."

"Yes?" But then, as always, something clicked within Sirius's mind without any prompting. "IT'S EVANS, ISN'T IT?!" he shouted, and jumped up.

"Now, we don't know for sure..."

"I KNEW IT! I _KNEW_ IT! Won't you go out with him now, Evans?" Sirius said as he danced on the spot, looking as though he were stepping upon hot coals.

"Absolutely NOT!" she barked, dropping James's wrist as if burnt by the contact with his skin.

"Sirius, would you calm down?" solicited Remus as he watched Sirius. "You're going to break something. Or perhaps pull something."

"Not to mention," began Lily. "Your dancing is most pitiful." She cast a seething look at the unconscious James, and groaned. "Would you wake him up already?!" she snapped at Sirius.

Looking slightly wary of the angry Evans, Sirius bent down and shot another jet of water on James's face, effectively choking him, but also waking him up. He spluttered incoherent nothings, and Remus helped him to sit up. Peter began to wring his hands.

"Is he okay? Are you okay James? Did you injure yourself?" he rambled, breathlessly.

Again, he was dutifully ignored.

"Let's go look for him, eh?" suggested Sirius.

Remus sighed heavily. "Him? As in, James's son?"

James winced. Peter nodded happily. James looked horrified. Sirius nodded. James looked sick. Lily rolled her eyes. James looked petrified. Remus, however, looked inclined toward the idea, and that made James blanch.

"Sure, Padfoot. Let's look for him."

And so Sirius, Remus, Lily, and James (supported by Peter) stepped onto the sunny grounds and marched across the trampled grass. Their destination was Hagrid's hut, but no sooner had they reached the front door, when it opened again, and the boy stepped outside. He looked hurt. He looked very, very hurt. And Lily frowned at Remus. Sirius trailed behind the boy like a puppy (which was rather ironic, really) following him to a clump of bushes on the other side of the lake. The boy sat down and stared wistfully at the water.

"Let's let him be," whispered Lily.

Remus nodded. "Yes. I agree with Lily. Come on Padfoot, leave him alone."

But it was too late. Sirius had already dropped down on the grass next to the boy, and began to watch him thoughtfully.

"Wonder what's up with him," he said, frowning.

It was with a sudden jolt of something akin to pain, unlike any he had felt before, and he later realised to be pity, that he noticed tears trickling silently down the boy's pale cheeks. He felt the urge to remove the concealment charm, just for that one moment...

But James beat him to it.

"Potter!" Lily hissed, grabbing his arm. "Don't!" she mouthed.

James looked positively horrified. "Evans! My son!...Er...our...er..." Suddenly he wasn't so sure of himself, and he looked down at the ground, blushing.

"Look," began Lily with a sudden bout of understanding for the slime that was James Potter. She took a deep breath. "I'll put the charms back on us now. He shouldn't have noticed us."

James threw a disdainful look toward the shrubbery, obviously battling his inner-most feelings. The situation was no longer real. It was surreal. There was his son. His future son, but nevertheless, his _son_. There was his son, _crying_. Silently, yes, but still crying. If anyone but his son had been crying, James would have thought him an absolute Nancy. Paternal instincts were now overpowering. But why wasn't Ev-_Lily_ feeling the same way?

"James," she whispered more insistently, pulling him back. "Please. For his sake." She indicated the boy.

"James," said Peter quietly, looking unsure of himself. "I don't think that would be a very good idea."

As James nodded sullenly, he thought he heard something. Something very, very quiet; a whisper. "Shh!" he held up one hand.

"Later! Stand together, all of you!" ordered Lily as quietly as she could while still backing the group away from the boy. Her son. Her _son_!

The boys did as they were instructed, all looking rather miserable, and when Lily had cast the charm once more, it was Sirius who broke from the group first. James was close on his heels.

Sirius dropped down on his hunkers next to the bush and only a foot from the boy, and James sat opposite them both. The boy looked momentarily startled, and he hastily wiped his face. Upon surveying the area, he apparently came to a silent conclusion, and sank back again, once more staring across the lake as though it were hypnotic.

And then James heard it. It was so quiet that perhaps the boy didn't even know he was saying it, but he _had_ said it, and James _had_ heard it.

_"...Sirius,"_ the boy had whispered, his eyes still looking across the lake, but clouded with something other than tears. He took a deep, rattling breath, and closed his eyes.

Sirius looked over at James, startled. "Me?" he mouthed to James, even though the boy couldn't hear them.

James, frowning, nodded. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the duplicate sitting in front of him. "Wonder what you did, then?" said James.

"What? Are you laying the blame on me?" Sirius looked positively horrified at such an accusation.

"Well you don't hear him calling out 'Dad', now do you?"

"No. But what makes you think _I_ did something?"

Remus, Peter and Lily sat down.

"Because he's upset!"

"He's obviously upset _about_ me!"

"What?! What makes you think that?"

"He's crying, and he's not angry."

"Perhaps he's past the stage of anger and is now wallowing in the disbelief that you'd do whatever it is you did to him."

"Listen here, you giant berk!" snapped Sirius. "Do you really think I'd do something to your son?"

"Well, we're twenty-four bloody years into the future, you pouf!"

"DON'T START UP THAT POUF BUSINESS AGAIN!" roared Sirius. He stood up and in his anger, lost his balance and leant sharply to the side, hitting the bush.

And the boy.

The boy let out a wail and scooted closer to the lake.

Lily clapped a hand over her mouth, James jumped up and ran behind Remus, who was now standing, and backing up slowly. Peter whinged pitifully, and hid behind Lily.

Sirius was standing again, but so was the boy. And the boy looked positively _frightened_.

"Ron? Hermione?" he asked softly, but then he seemed to come to a silent realisation, and shook his head softly. He took a step forward. Sirius jumped back. The boy had heard this, though, and he took another deliberate step forward.

"Who's there?" he demanded his voice cold and hard now. It sent a chill down James's spine to hear someone speak like that, and he felt guilty for being there. He felt guilty for ever letting Sirius time travel. He felt guilty for...for...for ever tormenting Sniv- _Snape_, in the way that he had. The pants incident was still fresh in his mind, though it was anything but a welcome image...

"Let's get out of here," whispered Lily.

Remus, however, began to speak. "Look at him," he said quietly. Everyone looked at the boy.

The boy was frowning. But he was frowning in the direction of the five Gryffindors currently standing only a metre in front of him. His eyes, however, were staring at the ground. They widened suddenly, and a look of horror passed over his face.

"Does..." said James throatily. He swallowed. "The grass is bent, and he can see it."

Remus nodded.

"He knows we're here, doesn't he?"

Remus nodded again.

"Only one thing to do, then," said Lily, briskly. "RUN!"

And run they did. They were speeding back into the castle as fast as possible, not even fully aware whether the boy was following or not. They suspected that he was.

"Room...of...Requirement!" panted James.

Sirius acknowledged this order with a wave of his hand, and he was soon pacing in front of a section of wall devoid of any tapestries or pictures. Lily raised an eyebrow as she massaged a stitch in her side.

"What are you doing?"

"Pass in front of this section of the wall four times, and think of a room to stay in while we're here, okay?" said Remus as Sirius disappeared with James.

Remus, Lily, and Peter passed in front of the wall, and were soon inside a room in which Lily had never been before.

It looked just like the Gryffindor common room, with the exception of two doors along one wall, one labelled, 'Ladies' and the other 'Gentlemen'.

"Wait," she said suddenly. "What of Snape? He won't be able to get into his common room, and he can't stay in the castle. He'll take off the concealment charms!"

"Or they'll have worn off, such as ours did...ten minutes ago."

Everyone stared at Peter, looks of horror on their faces. "You mean...?" said James.

"He probably saw us for us, and not just the bent grass," concluded Remus as he slapped a hand to his forehead.

"How does the charm wear off, Lily?" asked Sirius.

"Well, it sort of fades out."

"Feet first?"

Lily shrugged. "Possibly, why?"

"Because he was looking at our feet."

"He may not have seen our faces, then?" asked Peter tentatively.

"I doubt that he did."

"It's late. Let's nick some food from the kitchens and then sleep, shall we?" suggested Sirius through the beginnings of a yawn.

Everyone nodded, eager to sleep the last event of the day away.

"But first," said Remus. "Lily's right. We have to get Snape."

"Arrrgh. I suppose," groaned Sirius. "Wonder where the git's at."

"Dungeons, obviously," said James. "Probably trying to get into his common room. Probably scaring the students. Probably getting slime all over the place..."

And so the five headed down to the dungeons, driven by the prospects of food and sleep as soon as this task was complete.

It was Lily who saw Snape first. "Here!" she said, pointing to an entranceway at the end of the hall. Snape was glaring murderously at the tapestry hung along the wall.

"Oi! Snivelly!" said Sirius cheerily.

"Careful, Sirius! The charm isn't on us anymore!"

Snape withdrew his wand instantly, but Sirius did not. "You're coming with us," he growled.

"I am not coming with you and your lot!" he said.

"Yes you are. I _told_ you. This isn't 1972, you great prat. Now come with us!" he barked, and lunged for Snape.

Snape, however, had other ideas. He did not hex Sirius, but instead did the thing that no one would have ever thought him capable of. He sent one punch to Sirius's jaw, and smiled when Sirius cried out in pain. "What'd you do that for, Snivelly?" asked Sirius, rubbing his jaw tenderly.

"Don't. Touch. Me."

"It's not as though I wanted to," countered Sirius. "But you're still coming with us. Ow..." he moaned. "I swear, Snivelly, if any of my teeth are damaged, there'll be hell to pay!"

"I am _not_ coming with you!" snarled Snape.

"You have to, Severus!" said Lily pleadingly.

Snape frowned. "Why." It wasn't phrased as a question.

"Because!" James half-shouted. Lily hit him, and looked rather happy in doing so. "Ah! What was that for, Evans?" said James, looking hurt.

"Don't._ Shout_!" she said through gritted teeth.

Sirius couldn't resist. "Spousal abuse!"

Lily and James glared daggers into Sirius, willing some to materialise to make their point clearer. Sirius, still massaging his jaw, grinned. "What? It's true, you know!"

"Not _yet _it isn't!" spat Lily. "And frankly, I'm having a hard time ever believing that it will _ever_ happen." She glared disgustedly at James.

"What's this?" said Snape, the beginnings of mirth showing in his usually calm voice.

"I told you, Snivelly," said Sirius as he rolled his eyes, still rubbing his jaw, tenderly. "We're in 1996 or something like that-- I swear! If I get as much as a bruise..."

"So it's true? And you and Potter..." He sneered.

"Most unfortunate, isn't it, Severus?" said Lily, coldly. "Now, come with us, or chance running into the potions master."

"And that is something you do _not_ want to do," said James.

"Why?" asked Snape, his voice just as icy as Lily's.

"Er...just trust us," muttered James.

"Why would I ever trust _you_?"

"Fine. Don't trust us. But you have to come with us."

"I do not!"

"Then put a concealment charm on yourself and pray to the gods that you don't interfere with the future too much."

"You'll still get back, Snivelly," said Sirius. "Lils here has one of your books."

"You've got one of my books?" Snape turned to look at Lily.

Lily nodded. "You left it in Potions, and I was going to bring it back to you."

"One of my tomes in the hands of a Mudblood? I shudder to think."

"SHUT YOUR GREASY GOB!" yelled James. "Don't you _dare_ call her that."

"Listen, I think we ought to take this elsewhere," said Remus. "Get some food, and head back to the Room. Leave Snape to his own devices. He'll have to find out the hard way, and I am much inclined to see how he handles it."

"Moony going rebellious! I like it!" announced Sirius.

There was a moment reserved for everyone to turn to Sirius and give him a look before the dark-haired boy shrugged non-committaly and said, "What?"

"I like the bit about the getting food."

"You would, Worms."

**A/N AGAIN!:** This chapter was fairly short, being mostly dialogue and set up, but I didn't want to go into any more of the events quite yet. Again, I was working on evil spell-checkless word pad, and I didn't have it betaed or proofread or ANYTHING because I am far too lazy.


	5. Being when the trio becomes wayward

**The Wayward Trio**

By Hilarity

_Being when the trio becomes wayward_

"Unfortunate sprog, really," Sirius was spitting through a mouthful of something that had once been both whole and edible.

James looked up in horror. "What do you mean _unfortunate_? You're the one who went all mad and hurt his feelings in the first place!"

Sirius, with food still shoved grotesquely into his mouth, stood up. "How d'you know I did anything, eh?"

"We've been over this a dozen times, Padfoot! My name is James, your name is Sirius. Whose name was…?" James fidgeted uneasily.

"Pronglet?" Peter supplied. James nodded at him with a terse expression.

"Whose name was he saying? James or Sirius?"

No reply meant that clearly James had won this round. Again. So, he flopped onto the couch and kicked off his shoes. "Look, mate. I'm not saying that you went off and hurt the kid's feelings--"

"Yes, you are!"

"—But you can't ignore the evidence. It's stacking against you, man. You'll crumble before the end."

"Shut up, James," Lily muttered from her half-dead position on the nearby overstuffed chair. She had her face plastered into her hand, and was looking murderous, save for the fact that she did not look nearly as frightening with her face partially smooshed. But it was all in the way her sharp green eyes were narrowing.

Languidly, yes, but they were narrowing all the same.

James complied.

"Listen," Remus interjected from behind a book. "We'll just have to find out what happened. The concealment charms ought to work, so there shouldn't be a problem."

"Why, Mr. Moony! Are you suggesting that we_spy_ on the innocent young sprog?"

"I think he is, Padfoot old chap."

"I'm not talking to you, wossname."

James pulled a face and imitated Sirius in the most immature and childlike way possible. Immature and childlike was completely natural for James Potter, though. The look on his face was a bit more alien.

"Watch it. It'll stick that way." Remus grinned at James, who stuck his tongue out at his friend.

"And an improvement that would be, really," Lily said, looking torn between being murderous and being tired. Remus sniggered behind his hand, and even Peter smiled widely.

"An _improvement_," Sirius began. Lily groaned. "Would be blasting him off this ruddy planet, that's what an improvement would be!"

"Oh, shut up, you great prat!" James snapped, standing up and nearly tripping over his shoes. Sirius paid him no mind, and simply flopped down on one of the beds, drawing the crimson curtains shut with a flourish that was as puerile as the pout James now possessed. He kicked his shoe, and it went sailing into the fire.

"SHIT!"

Lily and Remus rolled their eyes whilst Peter stared at the display in mock horror. James was on his knees, poking into the dying flames with his wand, uttering swear words and hisses of pain.

"Idiot," Lily sighed as she stood up and proceeded to another bed. "Wake me when this is all over." Another set of curtains fell shut.

Remus decided he'd go next. "Good luck. Don't burn yourself too badly, and do mind your hair."

Now it was merely Peter and James, but Peter left without a word, save for a very scared look, and James was still plunging into fire and ash.

-----

Remus and Sirius and Peter and Lily were not speaking to James the next morning.

Because James was nowhere to be found.

"D'you reckon he got burnt up?" Peter asked quietly as Lily cast the concealment charm once more.

"Nah, the room would smell bad." Sirius clapped Peter on the shoulder and smiled. "And besides, we'd've heard screaming!"

"I cast a Silencing Charm," Lily said darkly.

"Er, I did, too," Remus added with a sheepish smile.

"Me too." Peter shuffled nervously.

"Damn. I had hoped one of you wouldn't have done that, because I did, too. Oh, well! Now we can go Prongs _and_ Pronglet hunting! Two of the biggest joys in the world!"

"What if he did something stupid?"

"He always does something stupid, Moony."

"No, I mean far exceeding the usual level of stupid. Like—Oh, my God. His concealment charm will have worn off. He won't be able to see us!"

"But we can still see him," Sirius said with a grin.

"Unfortunately," muttered Lily. "Well, let's get going, then. He couldn't have wandered too far. And if he did, well, it's his problem, isn't it?" She looked absolutely delighted at the prospect of never having to see James again.

"She has a point," Sirius said brightly as he followed behind the red head, falling into step with Remus. Peter trailed along behind.

As the four passed unseen down the corridors, Remus began to worry. Remus had a tendency to worry over things that could possibly have a negative affect on one or more people in the future. Especially easily preventable things, like a lost James.

"You don't think he found Snape and they've gone and killed each other, do you?" he asked slowly. Sirius turned his head and gave him an appreciative look before slinging an arm casually across his shoulders.

"Nah. I reckon Snivelly is hiding out in the darkest corners of the dungeons. Or trying to get into the Slytherin common room." Sirius let out a barking laugh. "Oh, what a riot it would be if Professor Snivelly found himself! Merlin, if that happens, I don't want to miss it."

"I'm sure we'd know if Snape found his childhood self wandering about aimlessly through the dungeons. There would most likely be a bit of an uproar. Or at least laughing Gryffindors," Remus commented as a rather sulky and sopping wet Gryffindor girl walked by, mumbling something about the lake.

"Eh, fair point."

"Ooh, we've missed breakfast!" Peter exclaimed, looking extremely distressed. "I'm starved!"

"We'll knick something later, Wormtail," Remus said softly.

"Always thinking about food, aren't you Worms? Even when Prongs is missing. Tsk, tsk."

Lily stopped and held up a hand, and Remus halted behind her. Sirius was not so smart, and continued to walk, even as his arm was linked with the shorter boy's. The collision that ensued was not entirely a true collision, but both parties treated it as such.

"Black! Watch where you're going, would you?"

"Who bloody stops in the middle of a corridor, eh?"

"Any normal human being, actually! But I suppose that rules you out, then!"

"Oh, shut up you stupid bint!"

"You're the one not paying any attention to things in front of you! Remus stopped, and Peter stopped, but not you!"

"…"

"Gone blind and mute, eh? About bloody time!"

"Fuck off."

"Would you two please stop arguing!" Remus implored with an annoyed expression.

"Make me, Black."

"Prongs'd kill me—OW!"

"Would you two please stop that right—ooh, that one looked a bit painful, Padfoot—OW!"

No one noticed Peter's expression go from pained to wide-eyed, because the other two were attacking Sirius. "Um," he said. "Um, er…look. Er."

"Excuse me?" he asked again, dodging wild fists and words.

"You lot?"

Remus turned his head and looked at Peter. "What?" he asked panting. "What's—oh. Oh! Padfoot! Lily! It's him!"

Remus almost hadn't noticed the carbon copy of his best friend. The boy—Pronglet—was surrounded by a tall, gangly red headed boy (probably a Weasley), and a bushy-haired brunette, who was just an inch or two shorter. The two unknown friends weren't looking at the boy in the middle. They weren't talking or smiling or laughing. They were merely looking at each other, over the top of James, Jr.'s head.

The looks weren't at all happy.

A thud made Remus jump, and he looked down to see Sirius nearly tied in a pretzel, helplessly failing on the ground. "Ow."

"Come on," Remus said, grabbing Sirius' hand and hauling him up. Lily raised an eyebrow and pushed Sirius again as she walked past him, alongside Remus.

With a yelp, Sirius fell again.

But there were Pronglets to follow first.

-----

"At least he's in Gryffindor," Remus commented idly as he and Lily and Peter sat slumped beneath the portrait hole. Sirius' predicament—and then his sudden urge to pee—had prevented them getting into Gryffindor tower.

Once the Fat Lady had recovered from her initial shock and regained consciousness, Remus tried every password he could remember, and then a few random ones just for kicks.

"She's gone mad, she has," Sirius commented from his casual, but very bored, sitting position on the opposite side of the hall.

"Er, I think she's just…well, it's been a few years, and uh, technically we should have aged. And not even be here. Anymore. Er."

Sirius merely shrugged and slumped down farther.

It was at exactly that moment that the portrait opened, hitting Remus squarely in the back of the head. He yelped and tripped over Lily, barely making it out of the way of two chatting teenage girls.

But he stuck his foot in the way of the portrait before it could close completely. Lily sprang up, Remus' head hit the stone floor ("Ow"), and the Fat Lady shrieked as Lily squeezed inside.

Remus crawled through next, followed by Peter, and Sirius, who had evidently fallen asleep, had to be picked up and carried into the common room whilst Peter held the portrait open.

"You know," Remus commented as he tossed Sirius onto the floor ("OI!"). "I think that we've just scared a majority of the students in here." And he was right, as even now most of the inhabitants were staring at the portrait hole with their mouths ajar.

Sirius, dusting himself off and giving his hair a quick, and very manly, toss, flopped into an empty armchair. Remus quickly shooed him out of it, and for once, Sirius looked deathly afraid, and complied. "Where is that damn Pronglet, anyway?" he asked with a frown.

"Probably in the dorms," Remus said thoughtfully, looking at Sirius—who was racing up the stairs. Remus gasped. "Padfoot, no!" he called, and Lily nearly tripped over her robes as she saw what was happening.

Remus was now chasing Sirius, who was running down the short hall and had stopped with a halt that could have been screeching had the floor been polished.

Stopping directly behind him, Remus glanced over his shoulder to see if the others were coming. They, for some reason, weren't. In fact they had most likely left Sirius in Remus' charge, as per usual.

Because Sirius tended to do really dumb things.

Such as opening doors into rooms in which his best friend's future son was undoubtedly in whilst under a concealing charm.

"No!" Remus whispered. He didn't know why he was whispering—no one could hear him. "That mightn't even be the right year! Padfoot!" Groaning, made to grab Sirius' wrist, but the other boy had shrieked and jumped so loudly that Remus was absolutely certain that the occupants of the dorm room had heard him.

Darting in as Sirius began to shut the door, Remus could already feel himself breaking out into a sweat. Oh, this was stupid. So, so incredibly stupid. There was the boy, lying on his bed with his back to the door. No one else was in the room.

Remus shut the door quietly, and tiptoed behind Sirius. Again, he didn't know why he was being so quiet, but he felt safer that way, so he continued it.

"Sirius…"

"Shh!" Sirius had picked up a book from the boy's bedside table. It was a photo album. Flipping it open, Remus peered over Sirius' shoulder as the other boy leafed through the pages.

"Bloody hell. Prongs 'n Evans!" Sirius was pointing excitedly to a wedding picture. "Aha! It's me!"

"Drunk, as is to be expected, I suppose."

Sirius nudged Remus in the side, and the boy on the bed stirred. Sirius nearly dropped the photo album, but quickly placed it back on the bedside table before Prongs, Jr. sat up, took of his glasses, and set them on the bedside table, on top of the photo album. As he lay back down again, Sirius nicked the glasses and looked through them.

He laughed. "Oh, man."

And Remus chided. "Sirius! Put those back this in—Ohmygod."

The world was suddenly spinning again, faster and faster and just as dizzy, if not moreso, than the first trip.

He landed with a thud in the Gryffindor common room exactly twenty four years previous. Sirius had landed face down nearby, still clutching the boy's glasses, and…

And the boy was shaking thick, messy black hair and rubbing his forehead, utterly dazed and obviously confused.

"Oh, shit."


End file.
